My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

...till I am done with work for the week. I'm very much in an "I don't wanna" mood today. All I want to do is go home and get back in my bed and go to sleep. Yes, being sleepy is my own fault because I insisted on staying up to watch "Family Guy" and then "Squidbillies" (which is freaking hilarious, by the way), and then staying up for another hour reading I Am Charlotte Simmons . Which is an interesting book. I can't wait to see how it ends, but I'm getting tired of the characters. There's not a single person in there who I really like. Or someone to cheer for. Come to think of it, all of the characters are pretty cliched (apologies for lack of proper accentation) and underdeveloped. There's the snotty prep school roommate (who's also a bulimic, alcoholic hoe-bag), the strikingly handsome frat boy (drunk on his own power; clumsily written as somewhat more mature and evolved as his brothers...or is he?), the dumb jock (who strug...

The silence was quickly shattered and suspended animation sped up to real time again. All is well in that department. And the majority of you still have no clue what I've been talking about so cryptically for nearly 2 months. Mwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!!! Maybe you'll figure it out. Or keep reading every new post until I finally decide to tell you what's going on. Hey, I have to keep all 12 of you reading somehow, right? OK, 12 was a generous number. I meant 5. Onward! Today I was originally going to do a "This Week in the News" blog. There's so much to talk about: Harriet Miers, Hurricane Wilma, the Iraq death toll reaching 2000, Walmart's ideas for revamping their health benefits... Most of which would lead to me ranting incoherently about political stuff. And I didn't feel like doing that. So I thought I'd talk about celebrity gossip. Mainly this whole story about Janet Jackson having a daughter that no one's known about for 18 years. Geez louisey...

And by now you're all thinking that I've completely gone off the deep end. I haven't. Yet. I think I'll save the final plunge into utter insanity for when I'm menopausal so I can actually get away with acting like I've completely lost my mind. Or I'll just wait till I'm in my 70's. Then we can just chalk it up to senility. Although, my grandmother likes to act like she's not all there sometimes, and she's not quite 70 yet. But she got away with asking my mother, at the breakfast table, in front of MY ENTIRE FAMILY, if I wore panties. Oh, I am sooo not kidding. There's like, (...counting...) 14 people in our house (for my sister's high school graduation, of all things) and we're all in and around the kitchen for breakfast. Everybody's just eating and chatting and whatever, when all of a sudden, my grandmother asks my mom, "Does Amber wear panties?" *cue clattering flatware, people pausing mid-bite, and the oh-so-impo...

This time it's that loaded silence that holds the future. When you've put yourself out there, completely stripped of fancy semantics and pseudo-intellectual banter, and you've said all that you felt. Not what you thought . What you felt . Whatever was left inside when you managed to shut down your brain for a few precious moments and just let your heart talk. You barely even know what you're saying as it all comes out, but you know that it's all real and pure and completely you. So it's out there. Hanging in silence. Waiting to be taken for what it's worth, whatever it may or may not be worth by now. It goes way deeper than having your heart on your sleeve or your emotions written on your face. Those words, those feelings, those anti-thoughts are all a piece of yourself that you laid out on the table. The presentation may not have been Martha-worthy, but you put it out there nonetheless. And now you wait in those seconds of silence. The seconds that become m...

I've been dealing with the silence of things today. Like the complete and total silence of this damned office except for the sound of this keyboard. The phone has not rang in almost 2 hours. There have been no faxes. Everybody's been plugging away at their desks in the back. So I read a whole bunch of my previous posts. In silence. Well, I did let out the occasional chuckle here and there. Some of the things I've said over the years have been pretty damn funny, if you ask me. The other silence...it's hard to explain. It's that uncomfortable silence you feel in the pit of your stomach that signals the beginning of the end of something. That silence that speaks volumes as two minds chatter incessantly and say absolutely nothing. The silence that you wait in, knowing the inevitable is coming as you desperately think of ways to fix what's been broken. Then there's the sickening silence you give yourself when you ask if it's worth fixing, even worth fighting ...

An anonymous commenter (see comment from previous post) obviously doesn't get it. The majority of the people who were affected by Katrina are of that "given ethnic background" that you oh-so-eloquently speak of. Yes, I am talking about Black folks. I'm not afraid to say it...why are you? The affirmative action laws being lifted will allow federally funded contractors to conveniently hire whoever the hell they want from wherever the hell they want and not suffer any consequences for it if they just happen to have an all-white crew of people re-building the Ninth Ward. And you have the nerve to say to me, "That's racism, sister" if the affirmative action laws stay in effect? I'm gonna set the record straight. I love Blogger. It allows me to say whatever I want. I have the comments function on so you all can say whatever you want. Being as such, I enjoy the right that I have to say the following to said anonymous person who was obviously too chicken to...

I realized the other day that I had not yet expressed any of my thoughts or feelings about a lot of the things happening in the country and around the world lately. It's not that I've been so self-absorbed in the craziness that has been my life lately. I just haven't had the time or energy to really sit here and write about it. I'm at work. The boss is at a conference today and tomorrow. Hence, I find myself with little to do and 2 1/2 hours left for the day. I ususally don't have a lot to do at work. So I've been reading the New York Times online. A lot. While it's been refreshing to read a real newspaper regularly again, I also now bear the burden of knowing all that's going on in the world. Well, it's time to unload. You've been warned. I remember talking to my friends the night before Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast about how massive and strangely beautiful the storm was on the radar. It was a force to be reckoned with, but how could ...