Ladies and gentlemen, submitted for your observation is a tale of treachery and disloyalty. A case of what happens when sub-standard funding and big business politics affect the tax and tuition paying people of this world. We shall present to you a current and most heinous example of the RU Screw.
(cue ominous music, like O Fortuna from "Carmina Burana")
Amber was a typical college student. Like many freshman, she took her time getting accustomed to college life, and her grades suffered in the process. But she worked hard after that, and had lined herself up to graduate on time.
Along the way, she had experienced screws, but she perservered. They were tiny screws...a class or two canceled, waiting till senior year to take Modern Dance, an evil fish killing roomate, a super-Asian roomate who made Amber feel like an exchange student in her own room, steadily increasing tuition, sharply increasing parking fees, and so on. They were uncomfortable screws, but they were handled and dealt with.
We now move to Spring semester, 2004. Amber's final semester at Rutgers.
Things were looking up. All of her housing screws had redeemed themselves: she would be moving into a spacious single room so she could finish her time at Rutgers in peace. In a few days' time, Amber would turn 21. She would finally be able to enjoy the several drinking establishments near her campus and beyond.
Of course, any Rutgers student who has suffered any type of RU Screw knows that one cannot be lured into a false sense of security. Screws can happen at any time, and when you least expect them. That's why it's always a good idea to check one's schedule before classes begin, as the university likes to change class meeting times and cancel classes without telling the students. We suppose it's to make life hell for the students who pay tuition.
Amber, our ever vigilant senior, checked her schedule only to be slapped in the face. Her heart shattered as her biggest screw yet worked its way into her soul so it could rust there and taint her soul for all eternity.
Two theater classes that she must complete in order to graduate in May have been scheduled at exactly the same time.
We are not trying to tell you some kind of sick joke, ladies and gentlemen, we speak the truth. The university expects our poor student to be in two places at once.
Maybe they think that Rutgers has become Hogwarts, and Amber is Hermione Granger, and some kind professor posing as Minerva McGonagall will give Amber a Time-Turner so she can attend both classes.
But if Rutgers was Hogwarts, we'd all be flying on broomsticks to class and be forced to pay ten thousand Galleons to park our Firebolts and Nimbuses on campus in residential lots.
Tomorrow, our positively livid student will be calling her school and relentlessly attempting to acquire a Time-Turner so she can take both classes. Or at least be begging to take an independent study so that she can graduate on time.
Hence, we will close the RU Screw files temporarily until we can report the conclusion of this sordid tale.
(cue ominous music, like O Fortuna from "Carmina Burana")
Amber was a typical college student. Like many freshman, she took her time getting accustomed to college life, and her grades suffered in the process. But she worked hard after that, and had lined herself up to graduate on time.
Along the way, she had experienced screws, but she perservered. They were tiny screws...a class or two canceled, waiting till senior year to take Modern Dance, an evil fish killing roomate, a super-Asian roomate who made Amber feel like an exchange student in her own room, steadily increasing tuition, sharply increasing parking fees, and so on. They were uncomfortable screws, but they were handled and dealt with.
We now move to Spring semester, 2004. Amber's final semester at Rutgers.
Things were looking up. All of her housing screws had redeemed themselves: she would be moving into a spacious single room so she could finish her time at Rutgers in peace. In a few days' time, Amber would turn 21. She would finally be able to enjoy the several drinking establishments near her campus and beyond.
Of course, any Rutgers student who has suffered any type of RU Screw knows that one cannot be lured into a false sense of security. Screws can happen at any time, and when you least expect them. That's why it's always a good idea to check one's schedule before classes begin, as the university likes to change class meeting times and cancel classes without telling the students. We suppose it's to make life hell for the students who pay tuition.
Amber, our ever vigilant senior, checked her schedule only to be slapped in the face. Her heart shattered as her biggest screw yet worked its way into her soul so it could rust there and taint her soul for all eternity.
Two theater classes that she must complete in order to graduate in May have been scheduled at exactly the same time.
We are not trying to tell you some kind of sick joke, ladies and gentlemen, we speak the truth. The university expects our poor student to be in two places at once.
Maybe they think that Rutgers has become Hogwarts, and Amber is Hermione Granger, and some kind professor posing as Minerva McGonagall will give Amber a Time-Turner so she can attend both classes.
But if Rutgers was Hogwarts, we'd all be flying on broomsticks to class and be forced to pay ten thousand Galleons to park our Firebolts and Nimbuses on campus in residential lots.
Tomorrow, our positively livid student will be calling her school and relentlessly attempting to acquire a Time-Turner so she can take both classes. Or at least be begging to take an independent study so that she can graduate on time.
Hence, we will close the RU Screw files temporarily until we can report the conclusion of this sordid tale.
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