My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

Yep, that's what I want to do. I want to get off of work, take a nap, then get up and go shopping. And buy lots of nice stuff. Or just a few nice things. Some decent pants for work would be nice. A few sweaters, a cute blazer, two or three winter skirts/dresses. Oh, and shoes. Some really hot brown boots. I should have more brown shoes. And then I'll buy lots of socks, some driving gloves, a hot pair of jeans, and a festive outfit for Rutgers-Christmas. Hmmm.... Some winter sunglasses (for sunset drives and snow glare), a new push up bra from Victoria's Secret (the Very Sexy demi w/o padding), a pair of Timberland boots, the new DDR game for GameCube (because I'm a dork), some awesome curtains my mom found in the Pottery Barn Teen catalogue, a new rug for my room, a drying rack for my sweaters... I guess that's all the practical and necessary stuff right there. Or my wish list for this Christmas. *sigh* Wicked headache, phone won't stop ringing, and there's ...

So quoteth Forrest Gump. Except Forrest said "she was gone" because he was talking about Jenny. The sentiment still remains the same. It's all over. Officially over with actual closure and everything. And I'm realizing that I never really explained what was going on in the first place. I didn't want to jinx it. But now that it's over... Ok, if you hadn't figured it out, Phil and I were dating again for a few months. Then we hit a rough spot, got over it, went to Boston, and then we broke up. As you all have been witness to this week. And that's the long story short version of it. Andre took to to the bar so I could drink and sing karaoke and feel better about being single. I drank, I sang, I got hit on by lesbians...all in all just another random night in my life. Why is it only Thursday? I'm debating whether or not I: a) Want to go see the midnight show of Harry Potter 4. b) Will actually be able to get to the show in time considering that I have ...

D isclaimer: So have you ever been in a situation where two people get into an argument and you just happen to be in the room when it starts? You're not sure whether you should sneak out as quietly as you can or give a little cough so that it's known that you're still there. And you're uncomfortable as hell hearing everything, but you want to know what all the fuss is about? I realize that that's what it's been like for anyone reading this blog over the past week or so, especially in the past 2 days. I apologize to the readers for airing out all my iss in the blog. But that's what blogs are for. And that's why my blog is so aptly titled. So, if you're not interested in reading more of my side of an argument (and I'd be surprised if anyone still cares at this point, especially the target of all of this vitriol), please come back for the next post. Anyone who reads past this point has been appropriately warned. I figured since I've already open...

So I may have been a little harsh in my last post. But I don't regret what I said. I was just scraping the surface. My last rant didn't have so much to do with my feminist stance (or possible regression from feminism) as it was about my frustration with things in general. I mean, seriously - how can you tell someone that you have "strong feelings" for them and then not call, write or care for nine days? Yes, I'm perfectly aware that phones dial out too and computers are perfectly capable of sending e-mails. But, as someone once close to me said, "actions speak louder than words." Instead of being the one to initiate things all the time, I chose to see what action was taken from the other side...and there was no response until I decided to write a bunch of stuff in my blog. You gotta love technology. Hey, I know that everyone is entitled to have their retrospective moments. Anyone who reads this regularly has had to deal with my own such moments on a regu...

I thought for a bit before pulling out my tiny little notebook and writing something. And in the few seconds that it took for me to mentally prepare myself to access the emotional in-box...well, I almost started crying right there at my desk. That would have been bad. Randomly bursting into tears at work is never a good thing. Hence, no poetry yet. But I'm sure there will be lots to write about. The silence has returned. I believe it shall be permanent. On my end at least. I'm tired of fighting for something only to turn around a week or two later and wonder what the hell I was fighting for. Since I have been burdened with the fact that I am a highly intelligent female (in a world where intelligent guys marry their less intelligent secretaries), I realized this has turned into a mind game. Reverse Telephone Chicken. 9 days and counting. And I'm not even thinking about dialing. So I pay for my own damn gas money and my own hotel room. *gasp* I'm a evil feminist because I...

I've gone from not coming up with the words to put into poetry to being afraid of what might happen when I finally put that pen to the paper. It's been a while since I've written anything substantial. Anything at all, really. Maybe there's been a line here or a phrase there that actually gets to a scrap of paper only to be lost in the black hole that is my still undecorated room. I do realize that I've been a poet for a while. And while most of my stuff may very well be crap, there's something good that pops up every once in a while. I'm way overdue. There's been too much stuff building up since...geez - I haven't really written anything since college. January 2004. And that was a good one, that last poem. I thought that I hadn't been writing because I wasn't hearing or reading poetry anymore. I used to go to a weekly poetry group on campus a lot. You'll hear something that clicks with you or sparks something and then you go off of that ...

12:40 on the sloooowwwwest Friday ever. I'm so bored and exhausted that I can't even read the New York Times. Yea, I'm exhausted. While I'm not as emotionally drained as I was when I was working at MoMIS, I'm still tired. You try working 3 jobs and see how you like it. The road trip to Boston went all right...I was conveniently attacked by one of those colds where you're not completely assed out and worthless, but you still feel crappy enough to not want to do anything. So instead of trying to see as much of the city as possible, we went to the open house in the morning, had lunch, took a nap (a nap!), saw Jarhead (amazing movie, by the way. But then again, there are movie theaters back here at home), went out to a few bars with one of Phil's buddies from school, and drove home the next day. Next time I have to take a weekend trip up to Boston, I'm taking the train. The traffic was that atrocious. I'm talking 6 hours each way on a trip that Mapque...

At this point, I really should just give up and start reading my book. I have been here since 9am and I have nothing to do. Except mail out the timesheets and pick up the mail. All of which takes 7-10 minutes. Not even. The reason that I feel so insecure about actually taking my book out of my bag and reading is that it totally shows everyone that I have absolutely nothing to do. I'm getting paid to read. But if I sit at the computer doing nothing...I don't know. Somewhere there's some twisted logic in my head that makes it seem like doing Yahoo! crossword puzzles looks more productive than reading a book. Blogging is even better. It adds the keyboard sound effect that says, "I'm busy typing up some important report or e-mail!" In actuality, I'm accomplishing nothing. I could do some filing right now, but I'll save it for next week. The "to be filed" box isn't quite full yet. What's really driving me insane is that I have 20 bajillion...

Let's see what's been going on in my life so far this week... -Had the meeting about what to do with the afterschool program. At this point, the curriculum has been thrown out the window. I am officially an overpaid babysitter. Grrr. -Went to another band competition with Andre on Sunday...I was so sleep deprived by mid-afternoon that I was struck with the maniacal idea of actually coming back to the competition later in the evening to see my old high school perform. Fortunately, my car battery died and prevented me from heading back up north. That's divine intervention if I've ever experienced it. Oh, and my high school won the state championship. (Again!) -Things are getting interesting on "The Real World: Bayshore Edition" (aka life in Casa de Crazy). Can't go into to much detail, but there are whispers in the air of someone possibly being "voted off the island" in the near future. Stay tuned. -Good thing I got my car fixed on Monday because I...