"And just like that, he was gone."
So quoteth Forrest Gump. Except Forrest said "she was gone" because he was talking about Jenny.
The sentiment still remains the same. It's all over. Officially over with actual closure and everything.
And I'm realizing that I never really explained what was going on in the first place. I didn't want to jinx it. But now that it's over...
Ok, if you hadn't figured it out, Phil and I were dating again for a few months. Then we hit a rough spot, got over it, went to Boston, and then we broke up. As you all have been witness to this week. And that's the long story short version of it.
Andre took to to the bar so I could drink and sing karaoke and feel better about being single. I drank, I sang, I got hit on by lesbians...all in all just another random night in my life.
Why is it only Thursday?
I'm debating whether or not I:
a) Want to go see the midnight show of Harry Potter 4.
b) Will actually be able to get to the show in time considering that I have to work at the mall tonight.
c) Will be able to purchase tickets by the time I get to the theatre.
d) Will be able to convince anyone to come with me and be a gigantic dork.
e) Will stay awake through the midnight show, considering the week I've been having.
f) Feel that being one of the first to see HP4 is really worth the bitter self-loathing that I will feel when I will have to get up and go to work again tomorrow.
Yeah, I am truly a dork. I mean, I wouldn't go to see the movie in robes or with a lightning bolt temporary tattoo on my head. But I'd wear a Gryffindor scarf if I had one. This is coming from the girl who preordered Book 6 on the first day it was available on Amazon, and actually called her friends to wish them a "Happy Harry Potter Day" when the book was finally released.
Speaking of books...
Yesterday I was with my after-school kids. We only had three girls this time. My game plan was to read them a poem by Shel Silverstein about being only one inch tall, and then the girl would do some improvisation work going from that idea. Well, after I had read the poem from the book, each of the girls wanted to read the poem out loud too. Ok, no big deal. The first girl, a third grader, had no problems with the poem. Any mistakes she made (if she made any), were typical third grade reading mistakes. The two fifth graders...
They couldn't read it.
"ride." "crumb." "crying." Forget about "frightening." They couldn't read. They. Can't. Read.
That's all that has been going through my head since yesterday. How can they be in fifth grade and not be able to read a Shel Silverstein poem? I was reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe in fifth grade. And I wasn't even in the gifted class that year. But these two little girls can't read.
Now by this point I am convinced that they have to be in some type of remedial class. They have to be. But how has the system failed so badly that these girls are in the fifth grade but can barely read at a 1st grade level? That afterschool program doesn't need to be paying for a drama program - they need to hire some reading tutors. Immediately.
I just have to remind myself that I can't beat myself up too badly over this whole drama program thing. I'm not a teacher yet. I have had no kind of training whatsoever when it comes to dealing with elementary school kids. Yes, there is a responsibility that a teacher has to maintain order in the classroom. But classroom management also deals with a consequences system. There is no disciplinary process for these kids when they act up, because it's just an afterschool program. Students have a responsibility too, and that's to do their best to sit and listen for a decent amount of time. The kids that we've been dealing with have no concept of that. And I don't think it's just because they need to blow off some steam at the end of the day.
I know these kids are not "bad." I know they're not "lost causes" or "hopeles cases." They're part of a system that has failed them. They're not incapable of learning...I just don't have the capability to reach them. Yet.
So lord only knows whether we'll be able to stick this program out till January. Since the kids' reading skills are so varied, we can't have them perform any type of scripted material. Since they can't listen attentively for more than 20 seconds unless you're screaming at them like a Marine drill sargeant, we can't teach any real theater games. And after Monday's session - when even something as simple as trying to keep a beach ball in the air generated at least 3 casualties - we know that we have to rule out fun physical games too. Forget "Red Light, Green Light" or "Musical Chairs." The third graders love it, but the sixth graders don't want to participate because it's "mad corny, yo."
And now the woman in charge of supervising all of those kids (whom also, coincidentally, looks like she's about to murder someone at a moment's notice) is asking us when we're going to have a new curriculum. We can't come up with a curriculum because we never know who we're going to get. Sometimes we have 12, some days 25, some days only 2 or 3. We started with 7th graders, now we've got 3rd thru 6th. How can we come up with a plan if we don't know who or what to plan for? We never even know if we're going to have the right space for that day. This woman is claiming that if we have a set program, then the kids will want to come. She doesn't seem to understand that it's not going to work that way. Besides, we had a set curriculum before (albeit one that was way too advanced for our audience), and the kids all dropped out after one or two sessions. They have total autonomy when it comes to deciding what they want to do in after-school that day. So if they don't want to come...they don't have to. If we don't have a fairly regular group of kids, we can't plan anything.
I am so frustrated with all of this.
But despite my frustration, I still want to be a teacher when I grow up. And hopefully, about 3 years from now, I'll be teaching a class somewhere as opposed to blogging from my desk at second most boring job ever.
Peace.
The sentiment still remains the same. It's all over. Officially over with actual closure and everything.
And I'm realizing that I never really explained what was going on in the first place. I didn't want to jinx it. But now that it's over...
Ok, if you hadn't figured it out, Phil and I were dating again for a few months. Then we hit a rough spot, got over it, went to Boston, and then we broke up. As you all have been witness to this week. And that's the long story short version of it.
Andre took to to the bar so I could drink and sing karaoke and feel better about being single. I drank, I sang, I got hit on by lesbians...all in all just another random night in my life.
Why is it only Thursday?
I'm debating whether or not I:
a) Want to go see the midnight show of Harry Potter 4.
b) Will actually be able to get to the show in time considering that I have to work at the mall tonight.
c) Will be able to purchase tickets by the time I get to the theatre.
d) Will be able to convince anyone to come with me and be a gigantic dork.
e) Will stay awake through the midnight show, considering the week I've been having.
f) Feel that being one of the first to see HP4 is really worth the bitter self-loathing that I will feel when I will have to get up and go to work again tomorrow.
Yeah, I am truly a dork. I mean, I wouldn't go to see the movie in robes or with a lightning bolt temporary tattoo on my head. But I'd wear a Gryffindor scarf if I had one. This is coming from the girl who preordered Book 6 on the first day it was available on Amazon, and actually called her friends to wish them a "Happy Harry Potter Day" when the book was finally released.
Speaking of books...
Yesterday I was with my after-school kids. We only had three girls this time. My game plan was to read them a poem by Shel Silverstein about being only one inch tall, and then the girl would do some improvisation work going from that idea. Well, after I had read the poem from the book, each of the girls wanted to read the poem out loud too. Ok, no big deal. The first girl, a third grader, had no problems with the poem. Any mistakes she made (if she made any), were typical third grade reading mistakes. The two fifth graders...
They couldn't read it.
"ride." "crumb." "crying." Forget about "frightening." They couldn't read. They. Can't. Read.
That's all that has been going through my head since yesterday. How can they be in fifth grade and not be able to read a Shel Silverstein poem? I was reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe in fifth grade. And I wasn't even in the gifted class that year. But these two little girls can't read.
Now by this point I am convinced that they have to be in some type of remedial class. They have to be. But how has the system failed so badly that these girls are in the fifth grade but can barely read at a 1st grade level? That afterschool program doesn't need to be paying for a drama program - they need to hire some reading tutors. Immediately.
I just have to remind myself that I can't beat myself up too badly over this whole drama program thing. I'm not a teacher yet. I have had no kind of training whatsoever when it comes to dealing with elementary school kids. Yes, there is a responsibility that a teacher has to maintain order in the classroom. But classroom management also deals with a consequences system. There is no disciplinary process for these kids when they act up, because it's just an afterschool program. Students have a responsibility too, and that's to do their best to sit and listen for a decent amount of time. The kids that we've been dealing with have no concept of that. And I don't think it's just because they need to blow off some steam at the end of the day.
I know these kids are not "bad." I know they're not "lost causes" or "hopeles cases." They're part of a system that has failed them. They're not incapable of learning...I just don't have the capability to reach them. Yet.
So lord only knows whether we'll be able to stick this program out till January. Since the kids' reading skills are so varied, we can't have them perform any type of scripted material. Since they can't listen attentively for more than 20 seconds unless you're screaming at them like a Marine drill sargeant, we can't teach any real theater games. And after Monday's session - when even something as simple as trying to keep a beach ball in the air generated at least 3 casualties - we know that we have to rule out fun physical games too. Forget "Red Light, Green Light" or "Musical Chairs." The third graders love it, but the sixth graders don't want to participate because it's "mad corny, yo."
And now the woman in charge of supervising all of those kids (whom also, coincidentally, looks like she's about to murder someone at a moment's notice) is asking us when we're going to have a new curriculum. We can't come up with a curriculum because we never know who we're going to get. Sometimes we have 12, some days 25, some days only 2 or 3. We started with 7th graders, now we've got 3rd thru 6th. How can we come up with a plan if we don't know who or what to plan for? We never even know if we're going to have the right space for that day. This woman is claiming that if we have a set program, then the kids will want to come. She doesn't seem to understand that it's not going to work that way. Besides, we had a set curriculum before (albeit one that was way too advanced for our audience), and the kids all dropped out after one or two sessions. They have total autonomy when it comes to deciding what they want to do in after-school that day. So if they don't want to come...they don't have to. If we don't have a fairly regular group of kids, we can't plan anything.
I am so frustrated with all of this.
But despite my frustration, I still want to be a teacher when I grow up. And hopefully, about 3 years from now, I'll be teaching a class somewhere as opposed to blogging from my desk at second most boring job ever.
Peace.
Comments