My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

After yesterday's little voyage to the Keys and back, I decided to get up early today and hit Ft. Lauderdale Beach. When I woke up, the sun was shining and it was slightly breezy out, but nothing that would deter me from chillin' under my umbrella with my copy of Cosmo and a few good books. Please tell me why the clouds rolled in right after I pulled into my $10 parking spot at 10am this morning. I checked the weather from my cell phone (after dropping a dollar for 24 hours worth of mobile web access and god knows how much for the airtime) and was told that the rain would pass south of me and the clouds would clear out by 11. Oh, and there was wind gusts from the NNE at 25-30 miles per hour. Greeaaatttt. Since I already parked, I figured I could chill under the cloud cover for an hour and then the sun would be out and everything would be happy again. I hit the beach with my gear, the clouds broke, and all was good. Except for the umbrella...it was too windy to put it up. Since ...

Well, summer is officially kicking off around the country even though it's been summer here for a week already. The humidity is back along with the heat, and yesterday we had our first massive thunderstorm in what seems like forever. (Note to self: Purchase giant squeegee for the patio ASAP. A Swiffer and salvaged styrofoam from the surround sound package are not permanent fixtures for removing rainwater that threatens to flood the apartment.) So since it's officially summer, it means it's time for summer adventures. And when you add me to a summer adventure equation, the result is usually funny or sad or interesting or something like that. While this nowhere equals the hilarity that ensued about 4 years ago during a random trip to Six Flags with Andre or any of our other Disaster Twins adventures, I feel it's interesting enough to share. If anything, it's a testament to why I don't do more random and impulsive things on my own: I usually screw it up. So today ...

Once upon a time, Captain Douchebag was hanging out in downtown Ft. Lauderdale with his boys. They bounced around from club/bar to club/bar, doing what guys usually do whenever they're downtown. Captain Douchebag and crew were about to leave one particular spot when he spotted a really cute girl headed for the bathroom. Captain Douchebag stopped the girl in her tracks and asked her to dance with him. She smiled and told him that she was on her way to the bathroom, but would find him once she had taken care of her business. A few minutes later she made her way back out to the dance floor where Captain Douchebag quickly found her and they began to dance. While they danced, they carried on the typical conversation that one would attempt to carry on while dancing with a stranger in a club/bar. After a while, Captain Douchebag offered to give the girl his number so she could call him if she wanted to talk. Now, the girl was no dummy. She knew there was no point in chasing after a guy if...