A Summer Preview

Here in Jersey we're in the midst of a freak April heat wave that has sent temps into the 90's today.

T.S. Eliot actually said it best when remarking that "April is the cruelest month." To that I'd add "especially in New Jersey." April is a big ol' box of meteorologic chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get. In Aprils past we've seen snow and rain and heat and bitter cold.

This year we got the heat wave.

I welcomed it, especially since we got a tease of beautiful weather last weekend and then utter disgustingness during the week. Yesterday I went shopping with my mom at the outlets down the shore, worked at the Panty Palace for a closing shift, then headed up to Hoboken to hang out with some people.

I forgot that I hate Hoboken. Not gonna lie, I wouldn't shed a tear if that town fell into a sinkhole. Ok, ok, I'd be sad for some of the people (since I might actually know people living there), but not the town. The party scene is like a haven for wannabe bridge and tunnel kids who are too lazy, scared, or broke to hop on the PATH and just go to Manhattan.

Ouch. That was mean. (But true.)

Anyway, I had a decent time because of the people I was hanging with. Chilled out till 4:15 in the morning, just barely beat the sun coming back home, slept for 5 hours, got up and painted my toenails out on the front porch until I was almost attacked by bees, went to work at the Panty Palace again, got sent home 2 1/2 hours later because the mall was dead, attempted to clean my room and do laundry, and now I'm here in my usual spot and thinking about going to bed soon.

Wow. It sounds a lot busier once it's all typed out. No wonder I'm exhausted.

Anyway, the summer has gotten back into my bones and I can't wait to get out there and enjoy it. Unfortunately, this mall gig nonsense is slowly crushing my soul and threatening to destroy my favorite season. Hence, the search for a permanent full time job continues with renewed spirit.

Ok, it's a little too warm to be typing. I must away.





Away to be alone with thoughts that have perplexed me as of late. Too many things to think about and consider and interpret and mend.

How do you rebuild a burned bridge when you're no longer sure of what's on the other side of the river?

When is it ok to accept the status quo? When should one push forward or demand progress? Do you dare to take action, knowing that it may disrupt the balance? Is the risk worth the reward?

For someone who was raised to believe that the world and its possibilities were limitless, I've never felt more limited in my life.

At the time when things need to be black and white, everything becomes a frightening fog of gray. I'm stuck in that fog and have no idea how to find my way out.





Ok, my allergies are messing with my head (no they're not, that's just a lame excuse trying to cover up what's either profound thoughts or some of the most trite crap I've ever written). It's really time to get off the computer and work on getting some rest.

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