A change gonna come...
...because it needs to.
This time, for the first time in a while, it's my job situation that needs to change. I finally made the decision to start looking for a new job earlier this year. The writing had been on the wall for a while, and a recruiter just happened to contact me after I had just been denied funding for a Master's certificate program at Rutgers. So now I've been interviewing and such for four months, and I feel like I'm on the verge of something big.
At least I hope that's what I'm feeling.
It could be pre-interview jitters. It could be that overall sense of a disturbance in the force. Maybe it's that melancholy I feel after a particularly hard night of drinking. Whatever it is, change is in the air, and I hope it's for the better.
I'm ready for change. I'm not getting out of my apartment any time soon. Sorority life kinda swallowed me up this winter, and I'm disconnecting from that pretty soon to take a break. My best friend is moving - again - and didn't tell me about finding the new place until today...like I already knew about it.
I wanted to get a good cry out of the Mad Men finale and I didn't get it.
And then there are the times when an old Dru Hill song comes up in my Spotify queue. It's amazing how a song can immediately propel you to a time so far in the past. There's this beautiful and sad ache that I fell, remembering a time that was just so...well, in hindsight it was perfect. Even though it wasn't. I was such a different person then. I was still becoming a person...I was a kid...kids don't know anything, even though you can't tell a sixteen-year-old that.
(This writing is horrible. I'm out of practice, it's midnight, I have a major interview in the morning, and I'm sweating my face off in this attic apartment because my AC unit is so loud. There aren't enough apologies...it's a stream of consciousness here...work with me.)
Getting older makes you think about the times when you were young and stupid and didn't know anything. You wish you could go back and tell yourself to make different choices. Even if I went back in time right now...it wouldn't have made a difference. In hindsight, the timing was all wrong. Sometimes the right person is there, but it's the wrong time. Most times, the timing seems right, and the person is just so totally wrong (story of my life).
But even if it was a case of missed timing...we're different people now. Are we? Do people really change that much? If the circumstances were such that there'd be a second chance, would it be worth it? Would it work? Would it mean irreparable harm to perfect, precious memories - or would they just become part of a damn good story?
These are the nostalgia and anxiety filled mind ramblings of someone on the verge of something big. Change is coming...let it be good.
This time, for the first time in a while, it's my job situation that needs to change. I finally made the decision to start looking for a new job earlier this year. The writing had been on the wall for a while, and a recruiter just happened to contact me after I had just been denied funding for a Master's certificate program at Rutgers. So now I've been interviewing and such for four months, and I feel like I'm on the verge of something big.
At least I hope that's what I'm feeling.
It could be pre-interview jitters. It could be that overall sense of a disturbance in the force. Maybe it's that melancholy I feel after a particularly hard night of drinking. Whatever it is, change is in the air, and I hope it's for the better.
I'm ready for change. I'm not getting out of my apartment any time soon. Sorority life kinda swallowed me up this winter, and I'm disconnecting from that pretty soon to take a break. My best friend is moving - again - and didn't tell me about finding the new place until today...like I already knew about it.
I wanted to get a good cry out of the Mad Men finale and I didn't get it.
And then there are the times when an old Dru Hill song comes up in my Spotify queue. It's amazing how a song can immediately propel you to a time so far in the past. There's this beautiful and sad ache that I fell, remembering a time that was just so...well, in hindsight it was perfect. Even though it wasn't. I was such a different person then. I was still becoming a person...I was a kid...kids don't know anything, even though you can't tell a sixteen-year-old that.
(This writing is horrible. I'm out of practice, it's midnight, I have a major interview in the morning, and I'm sweating my face off in this attic apartment because my AC unit is so loud. There aren't enough apologies...it's a stream of consciousness here...work with me.)
Getting older makes you think about the times when you were young and stupid and didn't know anything. You wish you could go back and tell yourself to make different choices. Even if I went back in time right now...it wouldn't have made a difference. In hindsight, the timing was all wrong. Sometimes the right person is there, but it's the wrong time. Most times, the timing seems right, and the person is just so totally wrong (story of my life).
But even if it was a case of missed timing...we're different people now. Are we? Do people really change that much? If the circumstances were such that there'd be a second chance, would it be worth it? Would it work? Would it mean irreparable harm to perfect, precious memories - or would they just become part of a damn good story?
These are the nostalgia and anxiety filled mind ramblings of someone on the verge of something big. Change is coming...let it be good.
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