grrrr....can't seem to get my archives to work....damn computers. well, it's really not something that has to get done tonight, like my expos paper. i had all day today to work on it. and i have nothing done. not a single word saved on my lovely little word processor. i did a bunch of other stuff...went to class, read the paper, got a kick-ass e-mail from rachel, started re-organizing my mp3's, had a meeting with my academic advisor, made a schedule for next semester, watched cartoons for 2 hours, ate dinner, went through some ex-boyfriend drama, watched jeopardy and millionaire, went to andre's to deconstruct the party palace, did dishes (and got some serious dishpan hands), brought my stereo back to my room, ate again, checked my e-mail again, and now i'm writing yet another pointless blog. and i have a paper due in 11 hours. but i can't think of what to write. my brain has shut down and refused to function. i'm really getting mad, too. i was supposed to finish my expos early so i could have the rest of the night to get some work done on my monologue. the monologue has to be picked, cut to 2 minutes, character analyzed, memorized, and ready to perform on friday. and it's 2am on tuesday. and did i mention that i have to see 2 plays this week and i have an exam on thursday? i am sooooooo screwed. i hate school. see, this i am already past the point that i was at last year when i decided that i wasn't going to do homework or go to class anymore. but i can't mess up at all this semester. like, i can't even get C's this semester. and everyone's all tired and bitchy, which really sucks, but we're so busy that we can't just take the day off and go do nothing. grrr.....well, gotta go and attempt to write a pathetic excuse for an expos paper. ta ta dearies.
Dear Dad, Who knows why I'm putting this in my ancient blog? Why I'm posting it to the internet. Shouting into the void and simultaneously preserving this forever. I guess it's the easiest way to get my thoughts down. Typing can be easier than writing, and it helps me get the words out faster without editing myself. I think about you every day, and I feel like I have more questions than answers, Something moved me to fire up the blog and write, so here I am. It's been a little over seven months since you've been gone. Thinking about the days and months and years leading up to that point feel like a temporal version of the Stations of the Cross. I don't know where the Beginning of the End actually sits in that timeline, but Christmas feels like a good starting point. The last Christmas that we all spent together. Did the tree fall down at all that year? If it didn't, was it a sign that we missed? My birthday dinner in Newark: Mom usually covers the check,...
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