My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

Sigh. Where has time gone? It's already mid-November, and my fall semester is quickly approaching its twilight, along with my 4 year sentence here at Rutgers State Prison. Naw, I'm just playing. This place isn't really a prison. Or is it? We pay thousands of dollars to be treated like tiny little gears in a giant machine that abuses people for 4 (or 5 or 7) years, and hands them a little piece of paper on their way out that says, "Thanks for playing! Your parting gift is a journey to the unknown. The world of uncertanties and hypocrisies awaits you. By the way, would you mind giving more money to the place that has warped you irrepairably?" But I'm not bitter. I watched "The Shawshank Redemption" on tv last night. I've seen it before, so I didn't really mind the fact that I fell asleep and missed the last 1/3rd of it. But I got to thinking today about the part where Brooks committed suicide because he couldn't deal with life on ...

Well, well, well! Happy September, everyone! I hope you all are enjoying your semesters that are either well underway or just beginning or haven't begun yet. Either way, I hope you are all well (all 5 or so of you that actually read this thing). The Fringe festival in Edinburgh was singlehandedly one of the best experiences of my life! For 3 crazy weeks I got to be a real working actress (even if I paid to be there instead of getting paid for it) and do most of the things that working actresses do. There was the daily call at the theater, doing the same show every day, finding cheap places to eat, navigating my way around a new town, seeing other shows, hanging out with other actors, nervously anticipating reviews...it was amazing. We dealt with egos, idiosyncrasies, and flat out *drama*. We had cast vs. crew issues. We had cast vs. producer issues. We had actor vs. actor issues. And then there was the cold that we spread amongst ourselves and various other people in our hostel...

the day is finally here! Tonight I'll be getting on a plane headed for Scotland and the largest theater festival in the world. That's right, the whole freaking world! It's 9:15 in the morning...the only reason I'm up this early is because I can't sleep anymore. And I've only gotten about 6 hours of sleep. This is crazy stuff. I'll eventually get showered and go pick up a few last minute things...then sit impatiently around the house till 3pm (another 6 hours from now)...then it's off to the airport for a send off fit for a princess: my boyfriend's coming to the airport to say bon voyage...and it was totally his idea. am I the luckiest girl on the face of the planet or what? so, speaking of boyfriends, things between Phil and I are going fabulously. as of Sunday, we've officially been together for a month. it feels like it's been longer than a month (in a good way), though. well, i guess it technically has been longer than a month, co...

growing up sucks. really, it does. i just got back from lunch with rena, one of my best friends from high school. she's moving to virginia next week with her 1 1/2 year old daughter and her sister who's going to start college. i'm hoping everything works out well for her and the baby...i know it's going to be ok, but i can't help worrying. i didn't realize how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to rena...but i guess it makes sense that it was. she was the first person at my new high school to really welcome me and make me feel a little better about moving halfway across the country. that was 5 years ago. holy crap, 5 years...it doesn't feel like it's been that long. but i guess that's a part of growing up, realizing that people grow up and move away. i mean, you can't stay home forever. well, you can, but you really wouldn't experience life that way. at least move across town or something. or maybe i just feel that way because i'm no...

a skydiver's update: on friday night, we finally jumped out of the plane. the freefall isn't so much of a fall, but more like flying instead. the sheer exhilaration is amazing and frightening all at the same time, but we're experiencing it together, and that's all that matters.

Today is a most happy day...the last day of summer session!!!!!!! I got out of my E. Religions exam about an hour ago....I'm not really sure how I did. At this point I'm just glad to be done. When I'm finished typing this blog, I'm headed for the bookstore so I can sell back my books. Yay! (A miniscule amount of)Cash in my pocket! Then I take my scenic art exam, go home to nap and pack, and then I'm stuck in Telefund hell for 4 hours, then I'm free!!!! I'm spending the 4th of July with a whole bunch of friends. Of course, my parents don't know this yet. But I don't care because I'm old enough to not have to ask if I can go somewhere. I just get in the car and go. Plus, I'm still not speaking to my mother. Anyway, this weekend is going to be a whole lot of fun because we're going clubbing tonight and then we're headed for the beach tomorrow. Tomorrow night we'll come back up to NB to hang out at the house and celebrate both the 4t...

:0) My Life, By The Numbers: An Updated Status Report Time elapsed since being home for the summer: 6 weeks, 5 days Days left of summer session: 2 1/2 Weeks left till Scotland: 5 Weeks till fall semester:9 Weight gained/lost/etc: I really don't care anymore. yes, my pants don't fit, but not everyone was intened to be a size 1 anyway. i'll live. Number of irritating cat episodes since last status report: approximately 4 Number of thorough cleanings of my room since last status report: one. Modern technology has blessed me with Clarinex, so I'm no longer tortured by life itself. Unless I accidentally put on a shirt that the cat has been sitting on. Then I start wheezing like mad. But death threats toward the cat have significantly decreased. DVD's rented since last status report: 0 Amount of over due fees still owed to various video stores: approx. $8 Places of current employment: 1 Amount of last paycheck: not recieved yet Amount of Mastercar...

wow...that was almost too cryptic. i really hope it makes sense. now i feel like i've got one foot outside the plane and one foot inside. i hope this wasn't a stupid move. i could always delete that last post, but that would be cheating. if i delete posts, i delete history. and i need to stop babbling and go to sleep. (like i'll be able to sleep until i find out what happens next)

it's at odd hours of the night/morning that i do my best and worst thinking. that's the best preface that i can come up with for the next bit of cryptic writing i'm about to put down. if it doesn't make sense, it's ok. it's only intended to make sense to one person who let me know that s/he reads this blog (and hopefully that one person will get it and let me know that I'm not going crazy). anyways, here goes... Right now, I feel like I'm going skydiving for the first time. The plane's in the air, I'm in the plane, and I have 2 choices: jump or stay in the plane. If I jump, I'll either get to experience the thrill of flying before safely landing with a parachute, or some horrible disaster will occur and I will plunge to my death. If I stay in the plane, I'll get to land safely, but know that I missed out on a chance of a lifetime because I was too chicken to jump. So what do I do now? Do I jump, or stay in the plane?

*sigh* rainy days and mondays always get me down... well, for once it's not raining today, but it's unnaturally cool. will the weather ever make up its damn mind and decide what season it is? actually, the first day of summer isn't until like next week or something. i guess that's why it's allowed to be barely 70 degrees outside. so i'm here in the computer lab again...putting off other important things that need to be done...because i don't feel like doing anything. blargggghhh. we went to the Cheesecake Factory last night for Father's Day. I'm glad that the food was superb because the service was terrible. first of all, we had to wait an hour and 45 minutes for a table. yes, an hour and 45 fricking minutes. then when we were finally seated, we ended up with a space cadet of a waitress who took for-ev-er to get our drink orders, appetizers, entrees, etc. but the food was really good...i had a Factory Grande Burrito. when they said grande, they re...

update on the accident girls: originally i had said that one of the girls broke 3 vertebrae. this morning, we were all relieved to learn that only 1 vertebra was cracked, and she'll have surgery to have a pin put in it. reminder: that still doesn't mean that it's ok to act like a retard behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. *end of very real yet "after-school special"-ish PSA*

*sigh* a crazy day around here, especially for my sister. she was at a softball tournament down in pennsylvania and 8 of her teammates were involved in a car accident. the cause of the crash: they were driving side-by-side on a two lane road. a car was headed toward them and the girl swerved back into the right lane, clipping the back of the other car. one of the cars hit a telephone pole. my sister was riding with my dad and didn't see the accident happen, but saw the wrecked cars and her teammates being loaded into ambulances. what makes it all worse was that one of the drivers didn't even have a license...she's only 16 (driving age in NJ is 17). I'm so glad that my sister wasn't in one of those cars...many of the girls are really hurt. one cracked 3 vertebrae and had to be flown to philadelphia. another girl went through the windshield and tore up her face. a third girl broke her femur (her thigh bone)...it will be at least 5 months before she walks again. wha...

so here i am in the computer lab at school. i'm putting off going over to the Shoestring office to give them more money, but i will go soon as i've recieved one nasty voicemail from my director and one direct e-mail from the producer. *sigh* whatever. once i am done with my class today, i'll officially be halfway done with summer session...it's gone by faster than i thought it would. i guess it's because i've set up a routine for myself that gets me through the day: -wake up 1/2 hour before leaving house -leave house 10 minutes late -get through traffic and make it to class on time anyway -stay awake through eastern religions -go to computer lab and play for approx 1 1/2 hours -eat lunch in car -slave over tedious project in scenic art and/or listen to boring and pointless lecture -go to andre's frat and hang out for a few hours -get through traffic going home -hang around the house and annoy people, eat food, and watch tv shows that annoy people ...

My Life, by the numbers: a status report. Time elapsed since moving home for the summer: 2 weeks, 3 days Weeks left of summer session: 5 Weeks left till Scotland: 9 Weeks till fall semester: 13 Weight gained since being home: 8 lbs Weight lost since being home: 4 lbs Hours of exercise completed: approx 4 hours (if playing Dance Dance Revolution counts) Times I have fed the cat: 2 Times I have chased the cat out of my room: approx 10 Times I have cursed the cat's existence: approx 34 (at least twice a day) Inhaled doses of albuterol due to cat dander exposure: approx 8 Times I have vacuumed my room: 2 Times I have dusted my room: 2 Times I have woken up miserable due to allergens in my house: 17 DVD's rented since being home: 3 Video stores in the area where I owe overdue fees: 2 Places of current employment: 0 Amount of last paycheck: $144 Amount of last Mastercard bill: $468 Amount of money due for Scotland: $1,000 Amount of money needed for spe...

here at work again....for the last time!!!!!!! yeah, I quit! do i have a new job yet? nope. do i have bills to pay? yep. am i crapping my pants right now? bust out the depends. and that's all i've got to say about the job. but since I'm here, I'm going to kill some time and catch up with everyone...there's not much to report. I recovered from my 3 weeks of wallowing in self despair over getting dumped. i'm glad i got over it when i did. i had resolved to lock myself in my dorm room and eat junk food for the rest of my life if i was not better by spring break. oh yeah, spring break. Toronto: we went, we saw, we got trashed, nearly killed each other, and vowed to never ride another Amtrak train for all eternity. end of story. ok, ok, i know you've all been waiting for it. you're all saying, "This isn't a real blog from Amber if she doesn't have a political rant about the current world situation!" well, ask and ye shall receive,...

here's a weird thing...i'm not at work. *gasp!* even weirder...my last entry was only 2 days ago. *double take!* so essentially what's going on is that Shoestring rehearsal was cancelled for tonight and I have found myself with absolutely nothing to do for the entire evening. i'm totally beside myself. i have nothing to do. no homework to do, and nowhere to go because i have no money. well, i could do my laundry. but that would involve going all the way to the student center to get change because the evil change machine here is broken. and i'd only be able to do one load because that's all i can afford. and it seems rather pointless to only do one load of laundry. i guess i could just download some movies and stuff myself with popcorn. or i could be even lamer and do something anal with my mp3s. or maybe i could start decorating the other half of my room...since i don't have a roommate anymore and half of my room looks totally depressing. my idea was to bus...

blah....here at work again.... did you ever think about how it is humanly possible for the human body to create so much snot? seriously. i've been battling a cold for 3 days now, and every time i turn around i'm blowing green stuff into a kleenex. or coughing it up. it's really gross. can't there be some other way to get rid of whatever germs there are in my body that are making me feel so horrible right now? especially when i hae shoestring rehearsal tonight. i have to go unless i'm dead. right now my body is going through one of the things i'm not allowed to do while i'm in shoestring: get sick or break. dude, being sick really sucks. yesterday i has amassed a pile of kleenex twice the size of my fist in just one hour! one hour! i look like a coke addict because the sides of my nose are all red from blowing it all day long. and all i want to do is go to bed. i won't get to sleep until 11 tonight. grrrr..... and i would love to wash my sweaters. they ...

so it's roughly 6pm on a wednesday evening...guess where I am? that's right, i'm at work! why else would I be putting down my random thoughts onto my under-celebrated blog page? anyway, I guess I have lots to talk about, so here goes... I survived the Blizzard of '03! I think I'm facinated by the idea that I've actually experienced another historic storm with a title. first Hurricane Floyd (which was actually a tropical depression by the time it got to Jersey), and now the Blizzard of '03. Or the "storm of historic proportions" as they called it on the Weather Channel. I spent 2 days as one of Andre's guests (along with Liz) at the Hotel Easton (hee hee), where we played Playstation games, ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and caught up on everything that's happened so far this semester. we've all been really busy with our separate lives and we hardly get to see each other any more. being snowed in with my buddies was a nice expe...

ah, a new look for a new year. ok, so it's technically been different since my last blog, but just pretend that it's some cool new year's thing i did. anyway, Christmas and New Year's went quite well. spent X-mas with my family and new year's with my friends, and now i'm ready to go back to school. only 14 days til move in day... I got a Palm Pilot for christmas and i'm uber excited about it! i finally have something to keep me organized and occupied when my bus is stuck in traffic between classes. once again, i'm here at the Inn...la dee freakin da...2 guests in house and absolutely nothing to do. getting paid $9/hour to blog and look at geek cartoons (long story) for 8 hours isn't all that bad. i do miss my job at the toy store, however. i did another stint there for the holidays, and it was mayhem and evil people as usual. lots of employee drama going on too...which was fun for me because everyone tells me everything and i repeat nothing. i have...