life on the outside...one week later
So I'm truly feeling the effects of being de-institutionalized. Or I'm feeling what it must be like to finally leave an abusive relationship. My mom even said that I needed "closure" with this whole Cheesecake thing and I guess she's kinda right. But on the whole I just feel better. I can't describe it more specifically than that. I'm smiling more and laughing more (and too hard at the summer commercial remnants that I missed all season long). I'm eating more and I haven't touched a Red Bull in a week. Even though I'm getting sleep again and all that I still feel tired. Just kinda battle weary, you know? Like I'm still recovering in a way, which I guess I am.
But enough with the post-traumatic stress nonsense.
Right now I'm stalling because I know I need to stand in front of my closet and decide what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I need to do it now because my brain can't function very well at 6:30 in the morning and I waste too much time staring blankly at my clothes and trying to figure out why I'm standing there. But deciding what to wear has become increasingly harder over the past few weeks because my wardrobe is limited and I'm trying not to make it too obvious to my employers that I'm kinda poor.
On a brighter note, however, I might have a full time gig. Like a real, full-time, 10 to 6 office job that might pay fairly decently. And by fairly decent I mean more than I'v eever been paid on my life for any type of job. But I'll find out all about that tomorrow. Which makes it even harder to decide what to wear. I wish I didn't get cold so easily. I freeze to death in the air conditioning, so I have to layer my clothes. Then again, it's still technically summer, and I have to run errands in Midtown in the middle of the day. And I bashed my toe on the corner of my dresser (serves me right for cleaning my room and kicking up dust), so it's all bleeding and swollen and will be oh-so-comfortable in my dress shoes. *sigh*
I just really hope I get the full time position. If I do, I can buy some new clothes, some cool and comfortable shoes, and I can start saving up for an apartment. Because that needs to happen very soon.
Off to go stare blankly at my closet before going to bed...
But enough with the post-traumatic stress nonsense.
Right now I'm stalling because I know I need to stand in front of my closet and decide what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I need to do it now because my brain can't function very well at 6:30 in the morning and I waste too much time staring blankly at my clothes and trying to figure out why I'm standing there. But deciding what to wear has become increasingly harder over the past few weeks because my wardrobe is limited and I'm trying not to make it too obvious to my employers that I'm kinda poor.
On a brighter note, however, I might have a full time gig. Like a real, full-time, 10 to 6 office job that might pay fairly decently. And by fairly decent I mean more than I'v eever been paid on my life for any type of job. But I'll find out all about that tomorrow. Which makes it even harder to decide what to wear. I wish I didn't get cold so easily. I freeze to death in the air conditioning, so I have to layer my clothes. Then again, it's still technically summer, and I have to run errands in Midtown in the middle of the day. And I bashed my toe on the corner of my dresser (serves me right for cleaning my room and kicking up dust), so it's all bleeding and swollen and will be oh-so-comfortable in my dress shoes. *sigh*
I just really hope I get the full time position. If I do, I can buy some new clothes, some cool and comfortable shoes, and I can start saving up for an apartment. Because that needs to happen very soon.
Off to go stare blankly at my closet before going to bed...
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-Liz