My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

For the past two weeks I have been going to work, learning things in my training class, and been utterly overwhelmed by what has been going on. I have a real job. There will be so many points throughout the day where I simply can't believe that I'm sitting in an office wearing a business suit and getting ready to launch a career. In sonething that has nothing to do with theater. I haven't freaked out yet. Went out with Andre last night for a long overdue "Andre and Amber night." We spent a good 45 minutes just talking about business. Like, the banking industry and numbers and percentages and stuff. And then I pointed out that if someone had told us four years ago that we'd be sitting and talking about banking...we would have laughed in that person's face. Or as Liz always says, "What are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?" My education class is cool. We don't call it training because you "train" a dog. You "teach"...

Monday, 4:35am: Woke up, got dressed, did hair. 5:30am: Left house to go to train station #1 to buy weekly ticket. Stopped by Dunkin' Donuts for coffee. 6:00am: Arrived at train station #2 to catch butt-crazy early train with all the other grownups. Felt really cool. 7:00am: Arrived at train station #3 and took shuttle van to work. 7:20am: Arrived at work early--very early. Sat and had a chat with co-classmate. Felt very nervous and caffeine buzzed. 8:00am: Orientation starts. Lots of paperwork and signing things and hearing lots of information. Learned about kick-ass benefits package. Had a Red Bull during breakfast break, along with cottage cheese and strawberries. Still felt very nervous and more buzzed--but awake and functioning. 12:00pm: Lunchtime in the cafeteria, provided by the company (up to $7). Ham and muenster cheese with mayo on wheat bread, potato chips, Snapple green tea, and Twizzlers...grand total $6.63. Will definitely not be buying lunch in the cafeteria every da...

My first day of work starts in less than 8 hours. Granted the first 3 days will be orientation and then 4 to 5 weeks of training, but it starts in a few hours. My body is still on "unemployed time." So I have to make this quick. I can't believe I'm actually nervous. The hard part is over: I got the job. But now I'm a working girl. For real. Like real money and benefits and only 10 days off for the rest of the year. 10. I have two weddings to go to, so I sincerely hope I don't get the flu or something. I ramble. Well, I would really love to talk about all the stuff that's going through my head right now, but I still have to pick out an outfit. And then take a 4 hour nap. I have to be up around 4:30 for insane reasons that could only happen to me because I live on the Edge of Nowhere and I have to deal with the most ghetto train line ever . If you don't hear from me for a few days, never fear. I have a lot of adjusting to do. Here goes nothing...

Oh man. Are we in for it now. If you somehow have managed to not hear this, let me be the first to bring you another sign of the apocalypse: Britney Spears is pregnant. Now we're going to be bombarded by the media baby watch. This is going to be bigger than Julia Roberts' twins. On a side note, Julia Roberts should be slapped for naming those poor children Phineas and Hazel. Anyway, the world is in serious trouble here. I don't think it's a good idea for Britney to procreate. I mean, she had a Pimps 'n Hoes themed wedding or reception or something like that. She walked into a public bathroom in her bare feet!!! Not only is that really trailer trash, but it's just plain disgusting. If she doesn't have the sense to at least put on some damn flip flops, are we sure she has enough sense to raise a kid?!? I don't claim to know everything about parenting. I'm not a mommy. I'm not a mommy yet for lots of good reasons. Mainly that I used a lot of common...

Pineapple slurpees from 7-Eleven rock my world. They're even better in a Spongebob Squarepants cup. Spring is so much easier when you have lots and lots of allergy drugs. I've got my pills, my inhaler, my eye drops, and my nose spray. ::contented sigh of non-stressiness:: The real fun begins tomorrow when we go into Hell Week for Shoestring. Let the games begin. And it's Sunday. That means another hour of Desperate Housewives goodness.

All my life's a circle sunrise and sundown the moon rose through the night time till the daybreak comes around all my life's a circle but I can't tell you why seasons spinning round again the years keep rolling by. That was one of my favorite Girl Scout camp songs from long ago. It just popped into my head. I thought I'd share. In other news... I just got back from New B. I hung out with an old friend(?) of mine who I hadn't seen in a while. It was chill. We saw a ska band and just hung out. Not a lot of talking, just hanging. I realized that I didn't have much to talk about. Yeah, I say a lot of stuff here, but not a lot has really been going on. It was weird cuz my friend has this really cool radio job and he gets to meet all these celebrities and stuff. Meanwhile, I've been sitting at home watching tv and blogging about pointless stuff. God, I hate feeling like a loser. But now that I have a job I'll have interesting things to talk about eventually. E...

My computer is dying. It has been doing so for a long time. I've been smart enough to ask for an external hard drive for Christmas so all of my critical data is backed up. But the end is near for my dear Indigo iMac. Soon I'll have to do something with it. And then I'll buy a new Mini Mac. I'll make out like a bandit, actually. A Mini Mac for about 600 bucks (because I'm adding extra RAM) and a economy-priced flat screen LCD monitor for around $200. I'm gonna end up with a hott new compy for about $400 less than what my current one cots me when I bought it. My saving grace is that I already have a mouse and keyboard. The hard part about parting with my current compy is that I can't have it die any time soon. But being able to co-exist with it may lead my precious computer to an early grave. I'll explain. My hard drive is on the brink of meltdown. When hard drives get old, they get noisy. So my computer makes this whining, humming noise. It's weird. I...

My freestyle has also been posted on my practically defunct poetry blog (you can get to it from my profile). The freestyle isn't as good as the other stuff on there. I don't even know if the other stuff is all that good either. But if you're interested, it's there. I'd add more to the page, but that involves going into the basement and rifling through my carefully preserved poetry archives. Then I have to decide which ones will embarass me the least. But then again, writers only become stronger through constructive criticism. Feel free to comment on my poetry...even if you think it sucks. Positive feedback might motivate me to post more stuff. And keep writing. I need to do more of that.

I went to go take my drug test today for work. I thought I had enough pee in me, but I did not. Craziness. So I got a cup of coffe, chugged it, and waited. While I waited, I discovered the Voice Notes function on my cell phone. Hence, here is my freestyle I recorded on my phone: "I'm sittin' here just waitin' to pee and if I was a doggie I could pee on a tree but no I have to go in this little cup and I think that it's really messed up that I can't go I need to get this job I'm tired of livin' my life bein' a slob I don't wanna be a bum no mo' tired of all my crap on the floor so I sit here, chillin' in my car I really wish I was a superstar but no I'm just a regular girl tryin' to make it in this everyday world everybody got money and I ain't got none and I just wanna have some fun but no I'm sittin' here in the parking lot hopin' nobody blow up my spot I drank a lot of coffee just to go and I'm sittin here m...

I end up researching the most random things at the most random times of the day. Like, it's 1am on a Monday and I just gave up researching car insurance quotes. I managed to get one quote so far. $1200 a year...I don't know if that's good or bad. If you're having a heart attack over that number, you must not live in the great state of New Jersey. I have also researched some possible apartments and whether or not they get cable modem access through my preferred cable company. I've looked at train schedules and fares for when I start work. I thankfully remembered that I have to go in and take a drug test tomorrow. So I looked up the exact location of the nearest tesing site. I had fleeting thoughts of joining a graduate chapter of the sorority my mom was in when she was in college. I was promptly shot down upon learning that membership is by invitation only and can not be solicited. Fine. Whatever. I've been doing lots of price checking for airfare to Ohio for my ...

I got a job! No, seriously. I got a real, bona fide job. With benefits. I'm going to be a Customer Marketing representative for a credit card company. No cold calling, either. Awwww yeah!!! I go in tomorrow to pick up my very first offer letter. And I get to have a drug test. And I'll get fingerprinted. Isn't this exciting!!!!!! I start training on April 18th. I get to go shopping for clothes. And I won't have to pay for them because I'm broke! Hooray for Mommy's AmEx! May this be the last time that I will have to rely on my mom's generosity due to my extremely dire financial situation. ::Doing the Cabbage Patch, followed by the Bankhead Bounce. In my chair. With the scrunched up, "I'm getting down !" look on my face:: " Go Amber, it's your birfday, you got a job and it ain't your birfday, gonna have a party like it's your birfday, in couple munths when you got some mon-ay! " ::Pausing to see myself in the mirror and real...