On the reality of the situation
For the past two weeks I have been going to work, learning things in my training class, and been utterly overwhelmed by what has been going on.
I have a real job.
There will be so many points throughout the day where I simply can't believe that I'm sitting in an office wearing a business suit and getting ready to launch a career. In sonething that has nothing to do with theater.
I haven't freaked out yet.
Went out with Andre last night for a long overdue "Andre and Amber night." We spent a good 45 minutes just talking about business. Like, the banking industry and numbers and percentages and stuff. And then I pointed out that if someone had told us four years ago that we'd be sitting and talking about banking...we would have laughed in that person's face. Or as Liz always says, "What are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?"
My education class is cool. We don't call it training because you "train" a dog. You "teach" a person. I digress. The people in my class are really chill. Correction. Most of the people in my class are really chill. There's this one guy, however, who cracks us up. He just has this different view of the world and a different background than the rest of the class. We all love him, but some of the stuff he talks about...
For example:
"What religion is Superman? I mean, think about it. What higher power is he answering to that keeps him from killing Lex Luthor? Why does he always just let the guy go and get away with doing all sorts of crazy stuff. It's mindboggling! All Superman has to do is just kill the guy, and he doesn't. So what religion keeps Superman from doing that?"
"You know what's so dumb? Names of cars. Think about it. You're sitting with a bunch of people and they're all like 'I drive a Mercedes. I drive a BMW' and then you have to say, 'I drive a Suzuki.' What kind of a car name is Suzuki? That's so dumb! It should have a nice Italian name or something, but Suzuki? Come on, that's just stupid!"
And there's oh so much more where that came from. We all love the guy though.
Another funny story before I go run my errands. Apologies to anyone who I've told this story to already...I have to share it because it's just that hilarious. Also, if you're eating or drinking anything, take a break from it while reading. I don't want to be responsible for computer damage. And if you're not supposed to be blogsurfing at work, come up with a good reason why your TPS report is so damned funny.
And now that I've set this story up, it's not goint to be as hilarious as I claim it is. My bad.
Our class educator Joe (I changed the name) and a friend of his were hanging out one night and the friend, let's call him Andy, wanted to get his hair bleached. So Andy goes to the dollar store and picks up some hair dye. Yes, the dollar store. Andy asks Joe to do the whole bleaching process. Joe has never done this before, but he decides to go for it. Gloves on, directions read, let's get platinum blonde! Joe proceeds to apply the dye to Andy's head. He's being creative. Swirls and cris-crosses and all sorts of stuff. Used the entire bottle of dye on the front half of the head, leaving the back untreated. Joe thought the excess dye would drip to the back of Andy's head, hence giving an overall, uniformly blonde head of hair.
Such was not the case.
When the dye was rinsed out, all of the squiggles and other decorative flourishes showed. Bright yellow swirls and boxes. To even everything out, Andy asks Joe for some peroxide. Brilliant idea! But you need heat to activate the peroxide, and Joe does not own a blow dryer.
So Joe cranks the oven up to 450 and pops a fan in front of it so Andy can sit in front of the oven and bake his hair.
Dude, it's so funny because it's a true story.
Needless to say, Andy's hair was a hott mess in the end. But Joe and Andy are still friends.
The moral of the story is to NEVER buy dollar store hair dye.
More bloggage when I have the time. Toodles!!
I have a real job.
There will be so many points throughout the day where I simply can't believe that I'm sitting in an office wearing a business suit and getting ready to launch a career. In sonething that has nothing to do with theater.
I haven't freaked out yet.
Went out with Andre last night for a long overdue "Andre and Amber night." We spent a good 45 minutes just talking about business. Like, the banking industry and numbers and percentages and stuff. And then I pointed out that if someone had told us four years ago that we'd be sitting and talking about banking...we would have laughed in that person's face. Or as Liz always says, "What are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?"
My education class is cool. We don't call it training because you "train" a dog. You "teach" a person. I digress. The people in my class are really chill. Correction. Most of the people in my class are really chill. There's this one guy, however, who cracks us up. He just has this different view of the world and a different background than the rest of the class. We all love him, but some of the stuff he talks about...
For example:
"What religion is Superman? I mean, think about it. What higher power is he answering to that keeps him from killing Lex Luthor? Why does he always just let the guy go and get away with doing all sorts of crazy stuff. It's mindboggling! All Superman has to do is just kill the guy, and he doesn't. So what religion keeps Superman from doing that?"
"You know what's so dumb? Names of cars. Think about it. You're sitting with a bunch of people and they're all like 'I drive a Mercedes. I drive a BMW' and then you have to say, 'I drive a Suzuki.' What kind of a car name is Suzuki? That's so dumb! It should have a nice Italian name or something, but Suzuki? Come on, that's just stupid!"
And there's oh so much more where that came from. We all love the guy though.
Another funny story before I go run my errands. Apologies to anyone who I've told this story to already...I have to share it because it's just that hilarious. Also, if you're eating or drinking anything, take a break from it while reading. I don't want to be responsible for computer damage. And if you're not supposed to be blogsurfing at work, come up with a good reason why your TPS report is so damned funny.
And now that I've set this story up, it's not goint to be as hilarious as I claim it is. My bad.
Our class educator Joe (I changed the name) and a friend of his were hanging out one night and the friend, let's call him Andy, wanted to get his hair bleached. So Andy goes to the dollar store and picks up some hair dye. Yes, the dollar store. Andy asks Joe to do the whole bleaching process. Joe has never done this before, but he decides to go for it. Gloves on, directions read, let's get platinum blonde! Joe proceeds to apply the dye to Andy's head. He's being creative. Swirls and cris-crosses and all sorts of stuff. Used the entire bottle of dye on the front half of the head, leaving the back untreated. Joe thought the excess dye would drip to the back of Andy's head, hence giving an overall, uniformly blonde head of hair.
Such was not the case.
When the dye was rinsed out, all of the squiggles and other decorative flourishes showed. Bright yellow swirls and boxes. To even everything out, Andy asks Joe for some peroxide. Brilliant idea! But you need heat to activate the peroxide, and Joe does not own a blow dryer.
So Joe cranks the oven up to 450 and pops a fan in front of it so Andy can sit in front of the oven and bake his hair.
Dude, it's so funny because it's a true story.
Needless to say, Andy's hair was a hott mess in the end. But Joe and Andy are still friends.
The moral of the story is to NEVER buy dollar store hair dye.
More bloggage when I have the time. Toodles!!
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