Aerial Fail is all around...
...yeah, that was a pretty lame title. But today's post relates to one of America's favorite pastimes, ranked up there with IRS audits and root canals: air travel.
Where to start, where to start...
Ok, let's first rewind about a year and revisit the now famous Flight 1549 aka The Miracle on the Hudson, which I briefly reported on here. Nearly a year later, people can not get off of Captain Sully's jock. Seriously. Dude was Grand Marshall of the Tournament of Roses Parade, and TLC is airing an hour-long documentary tomorrow night about the flight.
An hour-long documentary - about a 6 minute flight.
Seriously.
I can sum it all up in like, 45 seconds:
Plane takes off from LaGuardia. Two minutes in, geese hit engines. Loud banging noises commence, then engines fall silent.
Capt. Sully (to first officer): I got this, dude. My aircraft.
Skiles: No prob, dude. Go for it.
Capt. Sully (to control tower): Tower, we have a problem. We need to land this sucker immediately.
Tower: Ok, bring 'er back to LGA.
Sully: Naw, dawg, can't do it.
Tower: Teterboro?
Sully: Naw, dawg. Ain't happening.
Tower: Newark?
Sully: Naw, dawg. We're landing in the river.
Tower: WTF?
Sully: Brace for impact, y'all.
Plane lands in river, everyone gets off the plane and is rescued within minutes. Sully is instant hero.
The End.
Don't get me wrong, I have mad respect for Capt. Sully. AND the first officer AND the flight attendants (especially the FA's who I gave extra love to in my original post) AND all the authorities on the boats who rescued the passengers so quickly. But here's the thing everyone seems to be forgetting:
They were all just doing their jobs. The same thing that they get paid to do every day. It's just that the duties of that particular day were a bit out of the ordinary. But they just did what they were supposed to do. So we are constantly celebrating this one dude for doing his freakin' job.
I'm sorry, but I'm so over Flight 1549 and Capt. Sully. And America needs to be over him too.
Moving on then...
When underwear is outlawed, only outlaws will wear underwear. Yes y'all, I am talking about the latest addition to the Dumb Terrorist Hall of Fame, The Underwear Bomber. Oh, Underwear Bomber - thanks a lot. Pretty soon we'll have to travel naked or something. Greaaat. But what big hullabaloo is about right now is whether or not airports should use full body scanners as part of their security measures. Some people claim that they're an effective tool, and other people are all concerned about their privacy (wah, wah, it's like they're taking naked pictures of me...I feel violated!).
Here's my take on it: If I have the option of walking through a scanner or being felt up by a TSA agent who doesn't get paid enough to give a crap about her job, I will take the scanner. Any day, anywhere, any time. Honestly, I would trust the machine more than the merry band of morons that have been entrusted with keeping us safe in the air.
"Whoa," you say, "Merry band of morons? Isn't that a bit harsh?"
Ummm.....no. Not at all, after you look at what happened at Newark (Airport) on Sunday.
To recap: An un-ticketed and un-screened man entered the sterile area in Terminal C after walking past an unmanned security desk. Another passenger alerted the authorities. TSA agents went to view the security camera footage, only to learn that the camera had been inoperable for six days. Yes, six days. TSA agents then got stuck in VRU hell as they tried to contact someone at Continental to gain access to their footage. After two hours, TSA finally decides to contact Port Authority police and shut down the terminal.
Read that again: The terminal was not shut down until two hours after the security breach.
The guy eventually exited the terminal from a different checkpoint unscathed. Everyone else had to endure a six-hour shutdown of the terminal, leaving thousands of people backed up on one side of the security checkpoint, planes stuck on the tarmac, and cascading delays that didn't work themselves out until like 2 days later.
Fortunately, the mystery man was not a terrorist, but merely a grad student who just had to be with his girlfriend until she stepped on the plane. At least, I'm assuming it's his girlfriend. They just caught the guy last night. He will be charged with defiant trespass, which carries a maximum 30-day jail sentence. Apparently, there are no federal statutes that can be applied to the situation.
"Wait a minute," you say, "why was the security desk unmanned in the first place?"
It was unmanned because the TSA agent, who doesn't get paid enough to give a crap about his job, got a cell phone call and walked away from his desk.
/facepalm
To review, "merry band of morons" is a rather apt term term for the TSA.
Thusly ends my post on Aerial Fail and topics associated with aforementioned Fail.
Where to start, where to start...
Ok, let's first rewind about a year and revisit the now famous Flight 1549 aka The Miracle on the Hudson, which I briefly reported on here. Nearly a year later, people can not get off of Captain Sully's jock. Seriously. Dude was Grand Marshall of the Tournament of Roses Parade, and TLC is airing an hour-long documentary tomorrow night about the flight.
An hour-long documentary - about a 6 minute flight.
Seriously.
I can sum it all up in like, 45 seconds:
Plane takes off from LaGuardia. Two minutes in, geese hit engines. Loud banging noises commence, then engines fall silent.
Capt. Sully (to first officer): I got this, dude. My aircraft.
Skiles: No prob, dude. Go for it.
Capt. Sully (to control tower): Tower, we have a problem. We need to land this sucker immediately.
Tower: Ok, bring 'er back to LGA.
Sully: Naw, dawg, can't do it.
Tower: Teterboro?
Sully: Naw, dawg. Ain't happening.
Tower: Newark?
Sully: Naw, dawg. We're landing in the river.
Tower: WTF?
Sully: Brace for impact, y'all.
Plane lands in river, everyone gets off the plane and is rescued within minutes. Sully is instant hero.
The End.
Don't get me wrong, I have mad respect for Capt. Sully. AND the first officer AND the flight attendants (especially the FA's who I gave extra love to in my original post) AND all the authorities on the boats who rescued the passengers so quickly. But here's the thing everyone seems to be forgetting:
They were all just doing their jobs. The same thing that they get paid to do every day. It's just that the duties of that particular day were a bit out of the ordinary. But they just did what they were supposed to do. So we are constantly celebrating this one dude for doing his freakin' job.
I'm sorry, but I'm so over Flight 1549 and Capt. Sully. And America needs to be over him too.
Moving on then...
When underwear is outlawed, only outlaws will wear underwear. Yes y'all, I am talking about the latest addition to the Dumb Terrorist Hall of Fame, The Underwear Bomber. Oh, Underwear Bomber - thanks a lot. Pretty soon we'll have to travel naked or something. Greaaat. But what big hullabaloo is about right now is whether or not airports should use full body scanners as part of their security measures. Some people claim that they're an effective tool, and other people are all concerned about their privacy (wah, wah, it's like they're taking naked pictures of me...I feel violated!).
Here's my take on it: If I have the option of walking through a scanner or being felt up by a TSA agent who doesn't get paid enough to give a crap about her job, I will take the scanner. Any day, anywhere, any time. Honestly, I would trust the machine more than the merry band of morons that have been entrusted with keeping us safe in the air.
"Whoa," you say, "Merry band of morons? Isn't that a bit harsh?"
Ummm.....no. Not at all, after you look at what happened at Newark (Airport) on Sunday.
To recap: An un-ticketed and un-screened man entered the sterile area in Terminal C after walking past an unmanned security desk. Another passenger alerted the authorities. TSA agents went to view the security camera footage, only to learn that the camera had been inoperable for six days. Yes, six days. TSA agents then got stuck in VRU hell as they tried to contact someone at Continental to gain access to their footage. After two hours, TSA finally decides to contact Port Authority police and shut down the terminal.
Read that again: The terminal was not shut down until two hours after the security breach.
The guy eventually exited the terminal from a different checkpoint unscathed. Everyone else had to endure a six-hour shutdown of the terminal, leaving thousands of people backed up on one side of the security checkpoint, planes stuck on the tarmac, and cascading delays that didn't work themselves out until like 2 days later.
Fortunately, the mystery man was not a terrorist, but merely a grad student who just had to be with his girlfriend until she stepped on the plane. At least, I'm assuming it's his girlfriend. They just caught the guy last night. He will be charged with defiant trespass, which carries a maximum 30-day jail sentence. Apparently, there are no federal statutes that can be applied to the situation.
"Wait a minute," you say, "why was the security desk unmanned in the first place?"
It was unmanned because the TSA agent, who doesn't get paid enough to give a crap about his job, got a cell phone call and walked away from his desk.
/facepalm
To review, "merry band of morons" is a rather apt term term for the TSA.
Thusly ends my post on Aerial Fail and topics associated with aforementioned Fail.
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