so i wake up this morning to my roomate screaming, "classes are canceled! turn on the news!" and i turn it on and see something out of a freaking movie. there's no way that the world trade center could have been blown up. this just isn't real. that's all i could think, that it wasn't real. and walking to the student center, i realized that today was such a beautiful day. sunny, breezy, and not a cloud in the sky. how could such a horrible thing happen on a day like today....a perfectly beautiful day? and then i was in the dining hall...the laughter sounded so alien. how could you laugh, or smile, or feel happy? thousand of people have just died and all hell has broken loose! eventually, i had to tune out. watched blair witch project....went to andre's....watched cartoons for two and a half hours while knowing that i don't know what tomorrow will bring. no classes tomorrow, we're still in a state of emergency. i think this is the first time i haven't been elated at the thought of no class. just watched the president...he's pretty much declared war on whoever was responsible for this shit...i hope whoever did it burns in hell. so now i just want to eat some double stuf oreos and watch some movies....afraid to go to sleep....not knowing what tomorrow will bring. sorry for the solemnity, but you all know what we're going through here. stay tuned, boys and girls....this is gonna be a long day/week/month/year
Dear Dad, Who knows why I'm putting this in my ancient blog? Why I'm posting it to the internet. Shouting into the void and simultaneously preserving this forever. I guess it's the easiest way to get my thoughts down. Typing can be easier than writing, and it helps me get the words out faster without editing myself. I think about you every day, and I feel like I have more questions than answers, Something moved me to fire up the blog and write, so here I am. It's been a little over seven months since you've been gone. Thinking about the days and months and years leading up to that point feel like a temporal version of the Stations of the Cross. I don't know where the Beginning of the End actually sits in that timeline, but Christmas feels like a good starting point. The last Christmas that we all spent together. Did the tree fall down at all that year? If it didn't, was it a sign that we missed? My birthday dinner in Newark: Mom usually covers the check,...
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