That's how I'm rollin' right now. With the brokeness. Thank god for ramen noodles and chicken nuggets. Just finished spending my paycheck before I've even gotten it...on bills. ::sigh:: But there are happy things to look forward to! Andre is coming down to visit tomorrow because he's a lucky bastard who gets a 5 day weekend thanks to teachers' convention and Veterans' Day. But I guess I'm really the lucky one because I get to see him for a few days. And yesterday I got a call from another one of my awesome friends in Chicago who wants to come visit in December. Between that and the fact that the weather has turned absolutely gorgeous, I'm starting to see a few of the benefits of living down here in Florida. Except for the fact that I'm broke all the time. But then again, how many of you can say that you went to the beach last weekend? That's what I thought. So there. Ok...have to finish cleaning and then I have to put gas in my car (thank god...
...is emotionally draining. My current job allows me to work with schools in such a way that I'm beginning to realize yet again that I should be a teacher. To have the ability to work with kids and inspire them to work hard and get ready for the real world...that's something that's of real merit. That's something to truly be proud of. Even only reaching one kid a year out of the 30 or more you may teach...that's one kid that you've inspired to read more or write more or become a scientist or a teacher or the next President. I don't care if you think this sounds cliched...it's the truth. Anyway, now I'm in a position where the things that I really want to do can't be accomplished with the job that I currently have. Frustrating, yes. Surprising, no. Long time readers really know how not surprising this is. But things are ok for now. I'm thinking about lots of stuff and keeping busy at work and focusing on things that will help me keep my sanity...
So I'm truly feeling the effects of being de-institutionalized. Or I'm feeling what it must be like to finally leave an abusive relationship. My mom even said that I needed "closure" with this whole Cheesecake thing and I guess she's kinda right. But on the whole I just feel better. I can't describe it more specifically than that. I'm smiling more and laughing more (and too hard at the summer commercial remnants that I missed all season long). I'm eating more and I haven't touched a Red Bull in a week. Even though I'm getting sleep again and all that I still feel tired. Just kinda battle weary, you know? Like I'm still recovering in a way, which I guess I am.
But enough with the post-traumatic stress nonsense.
Right now I'm stalling because I know I need to stand in front of my closet and decide what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I need to do it now because my brain can't function very well at 6:30 in the morning and I waste to...
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