When your brain moves faster than your mouth...

...you are capable of creating some of the most absurd sentences ever.

I am having a scrambled-brain type of day where I really should have just stayed home, but I had too many things to attempt to do at work today.

Anyway, my absurd sentence.

I called a client today and had to leave a message with the secretary. This is what ended up coming out of my mouth:

"I just wanted to touch base on him with a couple of things."
(slight half second awkward pause as secretary is trying to figure out if I really just said what she thought I said)
"I mean, touch base with him. On a couple of things. ::sigh:: It's been a day."

And it's not even 2 in the afternoon. And I had my morning latte.

Sadly, I am used to being stricken with stupid every now and then...it happens. Often I'm tapped by my family, friends, and co-workers as a human dictionary/thesaurus/grammar and style guide (although one might find that hard to believe from reading this blog).

I've also had problems finding the correct term for the person that delivers your mail. At that particular moment, the only thing that my brain could come up with was "post officer." Not "letter carrier," or the not-so-PC "mailman," but "post officer." Since they work out of the post office. Somehow I derived this from the term "police officer," but they work out of police stations, not offices. I have some interesting lines of thought sometimes. But my mom told me that sometimes my brain just moves faster than my mouth, so stuff gets mixed up every once in a while.

Aren't moms awesome?

Long story short, I am having one of my stupid days, and have therefore shared with you an experience more likely to happen to Hugh Grant playing Hugh Grant in Every Single Movie Hugh Grant Has Ever Been In, where he ever-so-Britishly mixes up a statement to sound unintentionally dirty and then has to stammer to correct it and then do that stupid hair brushy/shoulder shruggy thing that he does that people seem to find endearing but I find stupid.

And once again, I am the Queen of Run-On Sentences.

Off to go get lunch even though I shouldn't operate heavy machinery.

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