My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

My away message reads as such: "How you know it's time to find a new job: You wake up in the morning and you try to think of ways to knock yourself out, therefore resulting in a concussion that would render you unable go into work. Contemplating self-inflicted head trauma is never a good thing." Oh, if I had the time and the energy to tell you all how bad it's been at MoMIS. It's 1984 meets Office Space meets high school. And if you haven't read 1984 by George Orwell, you absolutely must do so. The worst part is that all of the co-workers that I trusted have either left the company or switched to different schedules. So now I'm all alone in a place where I have to be constantly paranoid and have no one to kvetch with. And then there's the daily psychological warfare that goes on between management and myself. Let's just say that I am sending out my resume to a few temp agencies before the week is over. I don't even care if I don't have i...

So I had to take Andre to the airport today (for his vacation in Texas with his fam), and we're sitting in the food court finishing up our lunch. All of a sudden, I see someone familiar walk past the food court. I thought, 'No, it's my eyes playing tricks on me.' Then he walked closer to the food court, and I knew it was him for certain. My ex-boyfriend from high school. Oh. my. gawd! Ok, it was a totally cool thing to see him because we remained friends after the breakup and we lost contact a few years ago. (You know, cell phone numbers change, e-mails change, IM names changes, etc.) And I always thought about him every now and then and wondered what he was up to and if he was doing ok down in Florida and all that kind of stuff. And suddenly, in Newark Airport, I run into him after not seeing him for like 3 years. Freaky, huh? Since his flight was delayed, we had some time to catch up and chat and stuff, and I was so glad to find out that he's doing well. Now I...

And apparently my compy doesn't like to post entire blogs either.

So my computer is kind of retarded and doesn't show me exactly how many posts I have unless I log in on a PC. Or maybe it doens't like my browser. Anyway,

So the good news is that this blog comes to all of you from my brand new apartment. My apartment, also known as Casa de Crap, still has some work to be done on it. Hence the name Casa de Crap. But it's really not all that bad. I just love to exaggerate. The bad news is that I'm essentially in the same place that I was at a year ago: quickly burning out at MoMIS and struggling to not freak out in the manner that I did at the Cheesecake Factory last year. The good thing is that I know that I have a psychologically legit condition. But the only way for me to get any better at this point is to find a new job. I'm working on it. Time to put my laundromat-fresh clothes away, eat some dinner, and enjoy some popcorn and Mike's Cranberry lemonade with a few DVD's. Sad, but true. This is what corporate burnouts do on Friday nights.

So I'm officially back on the job market. Started looking at postings and stuff today. Ready to get the hell out of MoMIS....that place feels more like high school every day. I've been thinking a lot about becoming a teacher. But then I'm not so sure. I wish I could have my AD job with Shoestring as a full time job with benefits. Then I'd be the happiest person in the world. But alas, 'tis not to be so. Still blogging from the cafe....cable guy's coming on Tuesday to get the phone/cable/internet hooked up. Yay. The hardest part for me at this point is to try to stay happy. When I go to work at a job I hate for 10 hours a day, it's hard to be happy about anything. Except when I leave on Wednesday nights and know that I don't have to be back there for 3 whole days. Once again, this growing up crap is never easy. Especially when I realize that I really haven't accomplished much since graduating except moving out. Even the big things don't seem as bi...

Ok, that was a stupid title. Here I am, in the internet cafe around the corner from my new apartment. Ah, that's such a lovely thing to say that I must say it again. My new apartment. Tee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!! After getting everything moved in, well, things are still kinda crazy. Half of our outlets, including the dishwasher, don't work. And we don't have blinds on the windows. And we only have 2 air conditioners. But I love my new digs. Select readers will be recieving change of address cards...eventually. Right now we're busy getting used to our new town and new commutes and such. I no longer have my evil soap opera star hairdo. I got all my hair hacked off on Friday. I think I look like a recovering chemo patient, but everyone says it looks really good. So I must be exaggerating. I'm not bald. I just have to keep telling myself that. I am not bald. Hmm...what else is new? Not much and everything at the same time. The company I work for was just bought out in a...

Once again, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Later today I'll be moving out. It doesn't seem real. But with all the drama that I've been through over the past month, nothing seems real anymore. I went to the bar tonight with some of my co-workers. It was pretty cool. Blogging will be suspended yet again due to no internet access when I get to the new place. But no worries, dear readers, I'll have my cable modem access back up and running in a few weeks and I'll have all sorts of stories to tell about my new independent life. I listened to "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child with a whole new sense of awareness today. But for now, I will finish the book I've been reading and sleep for one last night in the place I called home for the past 6 years. It's a strange feeling. Wish me luck everyone! This day has been a long time coming, and for once I'll need all the good wishes/thoughts/prayers that anyone can send...

My mom e-mailed me last night and gave me the closest thing to a blessing that she could manage regarding the whole moving out issue. She told me that if things ever get too hard I can always come home, and that I shouldn't be too proud or hardheaded to ask for help. It made me cry. June has been a crazy month. Too much tears and drama. It's almost as bad as sophomore year crammed into two weeks. The year is half over. Here's hoping for a good six months.

Saturday cannot come fast enough. My mother is making my life hell. But I'm speaking to my dad again. My sister continues to play both sides of the fence. I don't blame her. It's not fair for her to pick sides and I don't want her to. Life fer hor has been crazy ever since she got back from school. I haven't packed anything yet. Just a few more days and I will finally be independent. Which means I will have done what my blog description says I have been struggling to do. No worries, I won't stop blogging. I just need to change the description. Dinner, then bed. It's been a long day.

So last week I finally broke the news to my mom that I'm moving out. Let's just say that she's not all that happy about it. Whatever. If anything, I'm glad that I waited till the last minute to tell her so that she can only try to make me miserable for two weeks as opposed to two months. I talked to some of my friends about it, and everyone is in agreement that my mom just doesn't want me to leave. Which I can understand. I'm the oldest child, and declaring total independence is a big deal. So of course she's going to say stuff to try to break my confidence and make me think that I really can't do this so I'll punk out and stay home. I repeat: Whatever. Checked out the new digs yesterday, and it's pretty sweet. We're going to have a lot of fun once we get everything furnished and decorated and whatnot. But first, I have to focus on getting packed up and out of this house. But this time, I'm moving everything . Not just the stuff I need to...

I just got back from Ohio today, and I had a pretty interesting weekend. I'm still slightly queasy from my wine hangover, so I'll break this down into bite-sized nuggets of fun for you all. -If you ever travel through Philadelphia International Airport, be advised that you should give yourself 2 1/2 hours to get through security. They just haven't caught up to Newark and JFK/LaGuardia when it comes to speediness. -Cleveland Hopkins Airport has some interesting restaurants if you're ever stuck there on an unintentional layover. I also met a woman from Jackson, Mississippi who ordered 2 double bourbons and cokes. She has a daughter who's a theater nut like me. I gave her my e-mail address to pass on to her daughter in case she ever wants advice about the theater world. -Turboprop planes are not as scary as I thought they would be. With the exception of almost flipping over on the return trip to Cleveland. But we all know how much I exaggerate. There were no near death...

Ok, so I was really dramatic in the last post and now everyone's worried and stuff. Essentially there was some issues with our car insurance. Like the fact that we didn't have any for 6 months. And no one knew except my dad. There was lots of yelling and screaming involved. But we all have insurance again, and I now own my car. I paid a dollar for it. Actually, I only paid the $.06 sales tax on it. And I'm still not speaking to my dad. But we're being required (by my mom) to at least get him a card for Father's Day. Whatever. In other news, the iPod restoration continues at a snail's pace. Information on the new digs coming **very** soon. Still haven't told the parentals. But I guess I should do that too since move out/in day is July 1st! Coming up this weekend: Jeff's wedding in Ohio. There will probably be some great stories behind this adventure. Especially if I'm not granted the vacay time to go to this wedding. Apparently, some imaginary entity ...

Have you ever believed something for so long and then realized that it's just not true anymore? What do you do when you reach that point? How are you supposed to go forward with that knowledge? Yesterday I learned some not so good news. But I was cool with it. I knew everything was going to be ok. Then today, I learned some horrible news. I was able to resolve it right away, but other people very close to me aren't so lucky. Don't worry...I'm making it out to be more serious than it really is. There's just been some high drama around here. I'm still processing. Raw nerves, and all that. Anyway... I've been keeping my whole apartment plans under wraps for a while now. It never seemed like a good time to tell my parents, "By the way, I'm moving out. Really soon." But after what's happened today, I've found my way out. The perfect reason as to why I'm ready to get out and do things on my own. To be totally responsible for myself and kn...

You can stop panicking now. I haven't retired from blogging or anything. I've just been mega-crazy-busy with work. And then I fill up my weekends with more stuff like spending money and having fun. The iPod restoration was stalled for a few days...or a week...let's see if I can work out an update. 46 of 147 CD's loaded approx. 31% progress Time elapsed: 20 days. Life without a full iPod is rough, but it's forcing me to explore some of the music I have stored on there that I never listen to. And of course, it's always hard to make progress when the collection keeps expanding. *Sigh* Well, off to shower, breakfast, and maybe a quick bit of shopping before heading out to Manhattan with Syracuse Phil. The weather should hold out nicely. And I won't wear my denim trench coat. Wearing that is like a guarantee that it will rain buckets. Princess, out! (And please commence the trash talking that I well deserve for imitating Ryan Seacrest.)

Before I begin my rant, an update on the iPod Restoration Project: 42 of 145 CDs reloaded approx. 29% progress Time elapsed: 7 days. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. I guess you could say that I live in an interesting neighborhood. It's a small collection of new(er) houses tucked back on the end of a section of houses that are at least 20 years old. It's a fairly quiet little cul-de-sac, filled with lots of young families. The only exceptions to this rule are three houses: my house, the older couple across the street with their cute fluffy white dog, and the other older couple across the street who have kids with kids. And the little ones are around a lot. So the average age of the kids in my neighborhood is around 7. Do you remember when you were a kid and your game of catch slowly snuck itself to the end of your driveway? One of your parents or neighbors would tell you to get away from the street, right? Always look both ways before crossing the street. Never ...

As of this moment, progress is as follows: 28 of 145 CD's reloaded approx. 19% progress Tag editing (for organizational purposes) approx. 45% complete Time elapsed: 4 days Slow going, yes. Am I being painstakingly anal about my tag updates? Yes. Am I backing everything up to my whoopty hard drive so that this disaster can never happen again? Hell yes. Went on a field trip to company headquarters in Delaware. Got to see how they make the cards and print the statements and process payments and stuff. Very exciting, and very tiring. Off to continue updating and what not. I'll keep y'all posted.

I, through my own laziness and stupidity, committed a most heinous error on Sunday night. I wiped out my iPod. Completely erased EVERYTHING but about 200 songs. Hence, any blogging that I might have somehow found the time to do will definitely be suspended until I have completed the restoration. Tonight's progress report is as follows: 14 of 144 CD's reloaded. Approx. 10% progress. Tag editing (for organization purposes) approx. 45% complete. Time elapsed: 2 days. Those of you who know my AIM screen name can track my progress there. Otherwise, I'll do my best to keep all y'all informed. I appreciate your good wishes and condolences...I can't believe I performed the equivalent of a lobotomy on my most precious piece of electronics with one false click of the mouse (and no proper warnings from the compy!). Off to bed. Work tomorrow, and a field trip on Thursday. Yay!!!

For the past two weeks I have been going to work, learning things in my training class, and been utterly overwhelmed by what has been going on. I have a real job. There will be so many points throughout the day where I simply can't believe that I'm sitting in an office wearing a business suit and getting ready to launch a career. In sonething that has nothing to do with theater. I haven't freaked out yet. Went out with Andre last night for a long overdue "Andre and Amber night." We spent a good 45 minutes just talking about business. Like, the banking industry and numbers and percentages and stuff. And then I pointed out that if someone had told us four years ago that we'd be sitting and talking about banking...we would have laughed in that person's face. Or as Liz always says, "What are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?" My education class is cool. We don't call it training because you "train" a dog. You "teach"...

Monday, 4:35am: Woke up, got dressed, did hair. 5:30am: Left house to go to train station #1 to buy weekly ticket. Stopped by Dunkin' Donuts for coffee. 6:00am: Arrived at train station #2 to catch butt-crazy early train with all the other grownups. Felt really cool. 7:00am: Arrived at train station #3 and took shuttle van to work. 7:20am: Arrived at work early--very early. Sat and had a chat with co-classmate. Felt very nervous and caffeine buzzed. 8:00am: Orientation starts. Lots of paperwork and signing things and hearing lots of information. Learned about kick-ass benefits package. Had a Red Bull during breakfast break, along with cottage cheese and strawberries. Still felt very nervous and more buzzed--but awake and functioning. 12:00pm: Lunchtime in the cafeteria, provided by the company (up to $7). Ham and muenster cheese with mayo on wheat bread, potato chips, Snapple green tea, and Twizzlers...grand total $6.63. Will definitely not be buying lunch in the cafeteria every da...