19 hours until the list is posted.
not just the list. THE list. the one that's going to tell me whether I'm going to walk on thursday or that i should just get in my car and drive as far away from my parents as possible before telling them that i'm not walking.
i guess i'm just getting more worked up than i should be. i've heard of lots of seniors who are missing a grade as of friday, and they're people who have their stuff together. all i need is that damn theater history grade, and I KNOW i passed that class.
but this is rutgers, and i don't have my degree in my hand yet. alas, i must wait another 19 hours before i know what will happen next.
so when i'm not thinking about my immediate future, i'm thinking about the past 4 years that i've spent here on the Banks. i wish i had started blogging sooner...it would have been nice to have some pre-9/11 stuff here. but besides that, i just keep thinking about all the stuff that i've been through in such a short amount of time. i guess it makes sense though. when you're growing up, 4 years chages a lot. you're born and you're this completely helpless being. and right when you're born, you're not even fully developed. humans really should have a gestation period of like 10 or 11 months, but if we stayed in that long, we'd never get out. i digress. so you're born. when you're 4, you're already walking and talking (and some people already read at that age) and you have your own opinions about stuff. 4 year olds are still babies practically, but they're already little people. 8 years old is a lot different from 4. you're going to elementary school and learning multiplication, you can ride a bike, and you already think that you're too old from sesame street (even though it's the first thing you'll watch if you're home sick with the flu). another 4 years down the road and you're 12. oh yeah, 12 is fun. (man, i wish sarcasm translated better in print) you're on the brink of puberty and you're the biggest asshole on the face of the earth. admit it. think about the way your thought when you were 12. you were an asshole. i started writing in my journal when i was 12, and it's hilarious to look back on that first volume and see a time in my life when i cared about only one person: myself. fast forward another 4 years and bang! you're 16. all of a sudden you're old enough to get a job at the mall or the grocery store, old enough to operate a motor vehicle (unless you live in Jersey...i'm still bitter about that), and you think you're ready to be an adult. (HA!!!) 4 more years go by and you're 20. we'll just add another year for the sake of accuracy, and now you're 21.
in college, i got to celebrate 2 major milestone birthdays: 18 and 21. i'm supposed to be a grownup now and i don't want to do it. 4 was good. you wake up, you go to preschool and play all day, come home and watch tv, eat some dinner, take a bath, hear a bedtime story and go to bed. repeat every day.
i'm having problems organizing my thoughts due to fatigue and possible insanity. 18 1/2 hours till the list is posted. i'm gonna go find something else to do.
not just the list. THE list. the one that's going to tell me whether I'm going to walk on thursday or that i should just get in my car and drive as far away from my parents as possible before telling them that i'm not walking.
i guess i'm just getting more worked up than i should be. i've heard of lots of seniors who are missing a grade as of friday, and they're people who have their stuff together. all i need is that damn theater history grade, and I KNOW i passed that class.
but this is rutgers, and i don't have my degree in my hand yet. alas, i must wait another 19 hours before i know what will happen next.
so when i'm not thinking about my immediate future, i'm thinking about the past 4 years that i've spent here on the Banks. i wish i had started blogging sooner...it would have been nice to have some pre-9/11 stuff here. but besides that, i just keep thinking about all the stuff that i've been through in such a short amount of time. i guess it makes sense though. when you're growing up, 4 years chages a lot. you're born and you're this completely helpless being. and right when you're born, you're not even fully developed. humans really should have a gestation period of like 10 or 11 months, but if we stayed in that long, we'd never get out. i digress. so you're born. when you're 4, you're already walking and talking (and some people already read at that age) and you have your own opinions about stuff. 4 year olds are still babies practically, but they're already little people. 8 years old is a lot different from 4. you're going to elementary school and learning multiplication, you can ride a bike, and you already think that you're too old from sesame street (even though it's the first thing you'll watch if you're home sick with the flu). another 4 years down the road and you're 12. oh yeah, 12 is fun. (man, i wish sarcasm translated better in print) you're on the brink of puberty and you're the biggest asshole on the face of the earth. admit it. think about the way your thought when you were 12. you were an asshole. i started writing in my journal when i was 12, and it's hilarious to look back on that first volume and see a time in my life when i cared about only one person: myself. fast forward another 4 years and bang! you're 16. all of a sudden you're old enough to get a job at the mall or the grocery store, old enough to operate a motor vehicle (unless you live in Jersey...i'm still bitter about that), and you think you're ready to be an adult. (HA!!!) 4 more years go by and you're 20. we'll just add another year for the sake of accuracy, and now you're 21.
in college, i got to celebrate 2 major milestone birthdays: 18 and 21. i'm supposed to be a grownup now and i don't want to do it. 4 was good. you wake up, you go to preschool and play all day, come home and watch tv, eat some dinner, take a bath, hear a bedtime story and go to bed. repeat every day.
i'm having problems organizing my thoughts due to fatigue and possible insanity. 18 1/2 hours till the list is posted. i'm gonna go find something else to do.
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