so this is probably the last dorm blog that i'll be doing, unless i am struck by some prolific urge and must write more about leaving Quad 3 and Livingston forever. yesterday i helped andre move out of his apartment, and we were able to do it without any tears. there was one point when it was pretty close...it kinda seemed like there was nothing else i could help out with, and i asked him if there was anything else that he needed me to do, and we just kinda looked at each other for a second or two, knowing that it was the end of an era. before things totally broke down, he said, "yeah, let's find something else for you to do." and we went on like nothing was wrong.
i think this whole thing has been so easy because i know i'm going to see andre all throughout the summer and stuff. the end of college isn't goodbye, it's just the end of college. we managed to survive this place and get out of here in four years (just barely!), which is apparently an amazing feat here on the Banks.
are there things i could have done differently during my time here? of course there are. i could have studied harder, made my career decisions sooner, taken on an internship or two, managed my money wiser, learned about love faster...the list goes on. but what i've also realized is that a college degree doesn't automatically make you a perfectly grown-up person who knows everything they need to know about life. college gets you there a little faster, but it's not like there's some magic recipe that says: take high school graduate and roast in undergraduate pressure cooker for four years. add laughter, tears, pain, confusion, revelation, and lots of stupid shit that you're not supposed to do. when the timer dings, add cap, gown, and degree for garnish.
one of my favorite song lyrics tells us that "it's not a question but a lesson learned in time." one random day last year i actually understood that line. we put ourselves through things without knowing exactly why, but eventually we will. it moght not be for another 15 or 25 or 50 years, but we'll figure it out. sometimes i would ask myself why i was in college. yeah, it was understood in my house that you graduate high school and go to college, but i didn't have to do it. why would anyone put themselves through all of the things that life throws at an undergrad? for now, i think i have it figured out. it's a way to grow, a way to change, a way to learn about yourself and your limits but you still know that the possibilities are endless.
i don't know how i'm going to feel after thursday. it will probably feel like any other important moment...you think it's going to hit you right away but it just feels like every other ordinary day.
and so i've wasted more time on babbling away my life in college...trying to find the right words to sum up whatever it is that i'm going through, but never really getting it quite right. well, off to return my library book, then to lunch, and then packing and finally getting the hell out of here.
May 20th is only 2 days away.
i think this whole thing has been so easy because i know i'm going to see andre all throughout the summer and stuff. the end of college isn't goodbye, it's just the end of college. we managed to survive this place and get out of here in four years (just barely!), which is apparently an amazing feat here on the Banks.
are there things i could have done differently during my time here? of course there are. i could have studied harder, made my career decisions sooner, taken on an internship or two, managed my money wiser, learned about love faster...the list goes on. but what i've also realized is that a college degree doesn't automatically make you a perfectly grown-up person who knows everything they need to know about life. college gets you there a little faster, but it's not like there's some magic recipe that says: take high school graduate and roast in undergraduate pressure cooker for four years. add laughter, tears, pain, confusion, revelation, and lots of stupid shit that you're not supposed to do. when the timer dings, add cap, gown, and degree for garnish.
one of my favorite song lyrics tells us that "it's not a question but a lesson learned in time." one random day last year i actually understood that line. we put ourselves through things without knowing exactly why, but eventually we will. it moght not be for another 15 or 25 or 50 years, but we'll figure it out. sometimes i would ask myself why i was in college. yeah, it was understood in my house that you graduate high school and go to college, but i didn't have to do it. why would anyone put themselves through all of the things that life throws at an undergrad? for now, i think i have it figured out. it's a way to grow, a way to change, a way to learn about yourself and your limits but you still know that the possibilities are endless.
i don't know how i'm going to feel after thursday. it will probably feel like any other important moment...you think it's going to hit you right away but it just feels like every other ordinary day.
and so i've wasted more time on babbling away my life in college...trying to find the right words to sum up whatever it is that i'm going through, but never really getting it quite right. well, off to return my library book, then to lunch, and then packing and finally getting the hell out of here.
May 20th is only 2 days away.
Comments