A Little Office Memo
To the annoying whiny girl in the cube on the other side of mine:
Please dump your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend and move on. Immediately. I'm assuming that the only reason you're still involved with him is because you just moved in with him and you don't want to move back in with your mom. Or maybe he buys you lots of pretty things. Or maybe you're seriously that dumb. I mean, considering that I don't really know you, I can't honestly say that you're dumb...but I've heard enough through the 2-inch upholstered wall between us to know that you're not the brightest Crayola in the box.
Intelligence aside, you've at least got to know enough that the loser that you fight on the phone with at least once a week is, well, a loser. Get your shit together and leave him. Now. Please, for the love of pete, move on with your life before you turn into the office's receptionist - getting by in life because you got some dude to buy you new boobs and you party every night because that's the only way you can get attention from people because you have nothing else to offer. (Check out the song "F-Me Pumps" by Amy Winehouse and you'll see what I mean.)
But honestly, the only reason I'm trying to have this Oprah moment with you is because I am so. fucking. sick. of listening to you fight with that douchebag every week. Do you realize that you sound like you're 15? Or one of those assholes on "Laguna Beach"? Please stop bringing your adolescent drama queen bullshit to the office. And if you can't avoid doing that, at least stop airing out all your ish so that everyone within a 3 cube radius knows that you're dumb enough to cling to the scum of the earth. Use a conference room or take it outside - you should at least have the courtesy and common sense to do that.
So, yeah, that's about it. Oh, one more thing -
You are to cease playing that damned Calabria 2007 song immediately. That wretched song has become an anthem for all things wrong with the South Florida mentality.
Satisfaction (the techno song):Gino the Guido::Calabria 2007:You and every skanky girl who thinks South Beach is the bomb.
Oh, I just realized that you probably can't read analogies. My bad. Oh well.
Do us all a favor: Get over yourself, get rid of the boyfriend, and go back to school.
That is all.
Please dump your pathetic excuse for a boyfriend and move on. Immediately. I'm assuming that the only reason you're still involved with him is because you just moved in with him and you don't want to move back in with your mom. Or maybe he buys you lots of pretty things. Or maybe you're seriously that dumb. I mean, considering that I don't really know you, I can't honestly say that you're dumb...but I've heard enough through the 2-inch upholstered wall between us to know that you're not the brightest Crayola in the box.
Intelligence aside, you've at least got to know enough that the loser that you fight on the phone with at least once a week is, well, a loser. Get your shit together and leave him. Now. Please, for the love of pete, move on with your life before you turn into the office's receptionist - getting by in life because you got some dude to buy you new boobs and you party every night because that's the only way you can get attention from people because you have nothing else to offer. (Check out the song "F-Me Pumps" by Amy Winehouse and you'll see what I mean.)
But honestly, the only reason I'm trying to have this Oprah moment with you is because I am so. fucking. sick. of listening to you fight with that douchebag every week. Do you realize that you sound like you're 15? Or one of those assholes on "Laguna Beach"? Please stop bringing your adolescent drama queen bullshit to the office. And if you can't avoid doing that, at least stop airing out all your ish so that everyone within a 3 cube radius knows that you're dumb enough to cling to the scum of the earth. Use a conference room or take it outside - you should at least have the courtesy and common sense to do that.
So, yeah, that's about it. Oh, one more thing -
You are to cease playing that damned Calabria 2007 song immediately. That wretched song has become an anthem for all things wrong with the South Florida mentality.
Satisfaction (the techno song):Gino the Guido::Calabria 2007:You and every skanky girl who thinks South Beach is the bomb.
Oh, I just realized that you probably can't read analogies. My bad. Oh well.
Do us all a favor: Get over yourself, get rid of the boyfriend, and go back to school.
That is all.
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