*sigh*....every day I am forced to add another name to the list of people who piss me off...have you ever been told that some big thing was going to happen, but you're not really sure if it actually will? so you wait until the last possible moment to start planning things for this event because you know how unpredictable the situation may be. and then you're given the false impression that the even will actually happen, so you sit with one of your best friends at his apartment and spend 7 hours downloading songs and making a cd so everything will be perfect for the event. you're both dead tired and entertaining guests, but you make the sacrifice anyway. you're doing it out of the kindness and goodness of your heart, and you even sacrifice the completeness of the cd project just so you can have it done for this event. finally, the cd is finished, and all that there is left to do is make the copies...tomorrow. you drag yourself back to your dorm at 12:30 in the morning and there's a message on the machine. good! a final notification that the event is going to happen. Wrong! 7 hours of hard work and endurance flushed down the toilet. goodbye! and that's why i'm so pissed. now there's probably a very good reason why this event will not be taking place this weekend, but i'm so frustrated and tired and pissed at this moment that even if i heard it, i wouldn't care. i mean, that just really sucks to bust your ass for someone and then they don't show. it really sucks. but of course, i'll get over being pissed and everything will be cool again. but what about the next time? should i even bother? to bust my ass and be let down or to not do anything and feel guilty if something actually happens? that is the real question, boys and girls. grrrrr.....i'll be back
Struggling between commerce and the greater good...
...is emotionally draining. My current job allows me to work with schools in such a way that I'm beginning to realize yet again that I should be a teacher. To have the ability to work with kids and inspire them to work hard and get ready for the real world...that's something that's of real merit. That's something to truly be proud of. Even only reaching one kid a year out of the 30 or more you may teach...that's one kid that you've inspired to read more or write more or become a scientist or a teacher or the next President. I don't care if you think this sounds cliched...it's the truth. Anyway, now I'm in a position where the things that I really want to do can't be accomplished with the job that I currently have. Frustrating, yes. Surprising, no. Long time readers really know how not surprising this is. But things are ok for now. I'm thinking about lots of stuff and keeping busy at work and focusing on things that will help me keep my sanity...
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