i kvetch, therefore i blog.
ok, so i hate working at cheesecake factory. i've hated it since day one. i've kept telling myself that it's eventually going to get better, but after a month it has not. i don't like the people. i don't like the system. i hate the way i get treated there and i hate the way other people are treated there. the hours royally suck. and i mean *royally* suck. i'm not getting paid enough money for the stress that i go under, and this job is sucking the life out of me. even my mother says that it's impossible for me to have any kind of social life with the job that i have, and i agree. so it's obvious that i have to get out of there as soon as possible.
but what do i do if i quit?
so i obviously have to have something lined up before i go tell everyone at cheesecake to go to hell. the problem is that i have no clue where to go.
well...there's one option.
i stopped in the toy store today to say hi to everyone and see how everyone's doing, like i do every once in a while. i love everyone there, and they're kinda like family in a way. so i'm shooting the breeze with the senior assistant manager and she mentioned to me that they're going to need another assistant manager soon. and she'd feel really good if i got the position because i know my shit and i could handle it.
*ding!*
this could be a good thing...or is it?
ok, so let's say i play my cards right and i take this assistant manager job instead of working at cheesecake and wanting to kill myself everytime i clock in. time for a round of pros and cons:
Cheesecake Pros:
1. working there leaves me free to take the time to look for a really good job that puts me in the career direction that i want to go for.
2. .......(trying hard to find a positive, and it's not happening)
Cheesecake Cons:
1. The hours
2. the people
3. when i'm not at work, i'm spending my time relaxing and enjoying not working. the last thing on my mind is doing any kind of work (like resumes and stuff)
4. i'm tired of everybody talking about how nice and sweet i am. really, i'm just acting like a human being. the rest of those people are just fucked up.
5. i wake up every morning or afternoon dreading having to be at work in a few hours and i go to sleep at night knowing that i have to be at work the next day and i hate it
6. i just fucking hate the job
7. i'm to the point to where i don't even care that i had a friend pull a lot of strings to get me this job. i'll tell him to go to hell like everyone else.
8. this job is turning me into a bitter and evil person, just like the majority of people who work there.
9. the commute is horrible.
Toy Store Pros:
1. Decent hours, better pay than cheesecake, and benefits (paid vacay time, dental and vision, direct deposit, etc.)
2. i know and love the people who work there, and they love me. the kids that i worked with last Christmas respected me and did what i told them to do
3. i've put in enough time at the store that i deserve a management position, and i'm totally qualified (if not overqualified) for it
4. it's literally 5 minutes away from home
5. i have a better chance of making enough money to move out and still have a better commute than cheesecake
6. i love the place. i must love it if i've been working there for the past 5 christmases and have no problems going back no matter how crazy the last christmas was. actually, last year went really well, but a few seasons were kinda crazy.
Toy Store Cons:
1. being a real manager means having to do sucky stuff like merchandising and truck (and doing truck really sucks around christmas time cause it's cold and crap)
2. being a real manager also means having to do even suckier stuff like dealing with irate customers. but then again, if i can handle some dude twice my size who's trying to hoodwink me on a open game cube return (we had to call security and have him escorted from the store), i can handle just about anyone
3. retail isn't exactly a 9 to 5 job, especially around the holidays
4. when it's not christmas time, the store is kinda dead and kinda boring too
5. the corporation isn't all that secure right now (filed for chapter 11 and all that), sowe never know what the future of the store is going to be
6. i'm going to have a hard time convincing my parents that taking this job is a good idea
7. i didn't spend 4 years in college and put myself in $5500 worth of debt so i could be a retail queen for the rest of my life
which brings me back to square one: what the hell am i going to do with the rest of my life?
i mean, i'm not looking at this toy store gig as a permanent thing. it would just be something to do for a year or two until i really get stuff figured out and then i'd move on.
i guess my biggest fear about taking the toy store job (that is, provided that i play my cards right and get it and everything) is that i'll make enough money to move out and be comfortable and say to myself, "hey this isn't half bad," and then end up working there for the rest of my life. of course, there's nothing wrong with retail. i'm not trying to be an elitist here, but i know i can do better than retail. if i was going to stay in retail, there would have been no point in me going to college.
i've got nothing to lose by leaving cheesecake factory and lots to gain from the toy store. a full time management position would make my resume look a little better than it does now. but i have to figure out what's after the toy store and i can't see it. i've pretty much decided for now that i don't want to go to grad school. it's too big of a financial investment for someone like me. i don't have the discipline and the focus that it takes for a master's program...it's a miracle (and i do mean an honest-to-god bona fide miracle) that i managed to get my bachelor's in 4 years and somehow have a 3.2 cumulative gpa to boot. then again, i majored in theater. it's really not that hard. if you look at my transcript, all of my good grades are theater and all of my shit grades are the other classes, and if it hadn't been for those 12 credits of shoestring (the easiest and hardest A's that i've ever earned), things would look a lot different.
or am i putting myself down too much? when i tell people that i graduated from Rutgers and did it in four years with a 3.2 gpa, i get nothing but compliments. everyone's like, "wow, that's really great! it's really hard to get out of there in 4 years." but then again, they don't know all of the nitty gritty details. they see the degree on the pretty paper with the calligraphy, not the abysmal grades on the transcript.
so i have a college degree which is supposed to make me eligible for all sorts of wonderful jobs and opportunities that lots of people don't have. but in reality i have a piece of paper that i didn't work very hard for and i've got nothing to show for it. i work at the fucking cheesecake factory. i deserve to work in retail for the rest of my life.
sometimes, i wish i wasn't so smart. (let me explain before everyone tries to say that i'm arrogant) if i wasn't so smart, i might have worked harder in high school. by working harder in high school (which in reality was a joke to me...i still can't believe i got the scholarship that i did), i might have gotten a free ride to a nicer school. on that free ride scholarship, i might have worked my ass off all the time (instead of just the times when i really cared or when my ass was on the line) and scored some sweet internship somewhere that could have scored me a $40,000 a year entry level position somewhere nice. with my work ethic being so strong, i could work my way up to some nice executive position, make a buttload of money, and retire to Hawaii. unfortunately, such is not the case. i skated through high school, pretty much did the same in college (by picking a ridiculously easy major), and now i work at the fucking cheesecake factory and am destined to do so for a long time unless i figure something out.
i think the concept of not returning to school in september is finally hitting me, and it's one of the worst feelings in the world.
i'm realizing now that i could just stay up and type forever since i'm essentially just typing whatever comes to my mind first, but i should go to bed.
i have to get up tomorrow and go work at the fucking cheesecake factory.
*sigh* here's hoping that all of you aren't nearly as conflicted as i am....do me a favor and put my comments feature to good use. any and all advice is appreciated.
*sigh again*
ok, so i hate working at cheesecake factory. i've hated it since day one. i've kept telling myself that it's eventually going to get better, but after a month it has not. i don't like the people. i don't like the system. i hate the way i get treated there and i hate the way other people are treated there. the hours royally suck. and i mean *royally* suck. i'm not getting paid enough money for the stress that i go under, and this job is sucking the life out of me. even my mother says that it's impossible for me to have any kind of social life with the job that i have, and i agree. so it's obvious that i have to get out of there as soon as possible.
but what do i do if i quit?
so i obviously have to have something lined up before i go tell everyone at cheesecake to go to hell. the problem is that i have no clue where to go.
well...there's one option.
i stopped in the toy store today to say hi to everyone and see how everyone's doing, like i do every once in a while. i love everyone there, and they're kinda like family in a way. so i'm shooting the breeze with the senior assistant manager and she mentioned to me that they're going to need another assistant manager soon. and she'd feel really good if i got the position because i know my shit and i could handle it.
*ding!*
this could be a good thing...or is it?
ok, so let's say i play my cards right and i take this assistant manager job instead of working at cheesecake and wanting to kill myself everytime i clock in. time for a round of pros and cons:
Cheesecake Pros:
1. working there leaves me free to take the time to look for a really good job that puts me in the career direction that i want to go for.
2. .......(trying hard to find a positive, and it's not happening)
Cheesecake Cons:
1. The hours
2. the people
3. when i'm not at work, i'm spending my time relaxing and enjoying not working. the last thing on my mind is doing any kind of work (like resumes and stuff)
4. i'm tired of everybody talking about how nice and sweet i am. really, i'm just acting like a human being. the rest of those people are just fucked up.
5. i wake up every morning or afternoon dreading having to be at work in a few hours and i go to sleep at night knowing that i have to be at work the next day and i hate it
6. i just fucking hate the job
7. i'm to the point to where i don't even care that i had a friend pull a lot of strings to get me this job. i'll tell him to go to hell like everyone else.
8. this job is turning me into a bitter and evil person, just like the majority of people who work there.
9. the commute is horrible.
Toy Store Pros:
1. Decent hours, better pay than cheesecake, and benefits (paid vacay time, dental and vision, direct deposit, etc.)
2. i know and love the people who work there, and they love me. the kids that i worked with last Christmas respected me and did what i told them to do
3. i've put in enough time at the store that i deserve a management position, and i'm totally qualified (if not overqualified) for it
4. it's literally 5 minutes away from home
5. i have a better chance of making enough money to move out and still have a better commute than cheesecake
6. i love the place. i must love it if i've been working there for the past 5 christmases and have no problems going back no matter how crazy the last christmas was. actually, last year went really well, but a few seasons were kinda crazy.
Toy Store Cons:
1. being a real manager means having to do sucky stuff like merchandising and truck (and doing truck really sucks around christmas time cause it's cold and crap)
2. being a real manager also means having to do even suckier stuff like dealing with irate customers. but then again, if i can handle some dude twice my size who's trying to hoodwink me on a open game cube return (we had to call security and have him escorted from the store), i can handle just about anyone
3. retail isn't exactly a 9 to 5 job, especially around the holidays
4. when it's not christmas time, the store is kinda dead and kinda boring too
5. the corporation isn't all that secure right now (filed for chapter 11 and all that), sowe never know what the future of the store is going to be
6. i'm going to have a hard time convincing my parents that taking this job is a good idea
7. i didn't spend 4 years in college and put myself in $5500 worth of debt so i could be a retail queen for the rest of my life
which brings me back to square one: what the hell am i going to do with the rest of my life?
i mean, i'm not looking at this toy store gig as a permanent thing. it would just be something to do for a year or two until i really get stuff figured out and then i'd move on.
i guess my biggest fear about taking the toy store job (that is, provided that i play my cards right and get it and everything) is that i'll make enough money to move out and be comfortable and say to myself, "hey this isn't half bad," and then end up working there for the rest of my life. of course, there's nothing wrong with retail. i'm not trying to be an elitist here, but i know i can do better than retail. if i was going to stay in retail, there would have been no point in me going to college.
i've got nothing to lose by leaving cheesecake factory and lots to gain from the toy store. a full time management position would make my resume look a little better than it does now. but i have to figure out what's after the toy store and i can't see it. i've pretty much decided for now that i don't want to go to grad school. it's too big of a financial investment for someone like me. i don't have the discipline and the focus that it takes for a master's program...it's a miracle (and i do mean an honest-to-god bona fide miracle) that i managed to get my bachelor's in 4 years and somehow have a 3.2 cumulative gpa to boot. then again, i majored in theater. it's really not that hard. if you look at my transcript, all of my good grades are theater and all of my shit grades are the other classes, and if it hadn't been for those 12 credits of shoestring (the easiest and hardest A's that i've ever earned), things would look a lot different.
or am i putting myself down too much? when i tell people that i graduated from Rutgers and did it in four years with a 3.2 gpa, i get nothing but compliments. everyone's like, "wow, that's really great! it's really hard to get out of there in 4 years." but then again, they don't know all of the nitty gritty details. they see the degree on the pretty paper with the calligraphy, not the abysmal grades on the transcript.
so i have a college degree which is supposed to make me eligible for all sorts of wonderful jobs and opportunities that lots of people don't have. but in reality i have a piece of paper that i didn't work very hard for and i've got nothing to show for it. i work at the fucking cheesecake factory. i deserve to work in retail for the rest of my life.
sometimes, i wish i wasn't so smart. (let me explain before everyone tries to say that i'm arrogant) if i wasn't so smart, i might have worked harder in high school. by working harder in high school (which in reality was a joke to me...i still can't believe i got the scholarship that i did), i might have gotten a free ride to a nicer school. on that free ride scholarship, i might have worked my ass off all the time (instead of just the times when i really cared or when my ass was on the line) and scored some sweet internship somewhere that could have scored me a $40,000 a year entry level position somewhere nice. with my work ethic being so strong, i could work my way up to some nice executive position, make a buttload of money, and retire to Hawaii. unfortunately, such is not the case. i skated through high school, pretty much did the same in college (by picking a ridiculously easy major), and now i work at the fucking cheesecake factory and am destined to do so for a long time unless i figure something out.
i think the concept of not returning to school in september is finally hitting me, and it's one of the worst feelings in the world.
i'm realizing now that i could just stay up and type forever since i'm essentially just typing whatever comes to my mind first, but i should go to bed.
i have to get up tomorrow and go work at the fucking cheesecake factory.
*sigh* here's hoping that all of you aren't nearly as conflicted as i am....do me a favor and put my comments feature to good use. any and all advice is appreciated.
*sigh again*
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