Who pulled my emergency brakes?!?
I came to a scary realization just a few minutes ago.
My life, which was insanity at 100 miles an hour, has screeched to a dangerous halt.
I figured this out in another one of my half-assed attempts to clean my room. During today's archeological dig I unearthed:
-just about every single parking receipt from my travels to NYC
-some weekly train passes
-pay stubs from the theatrical management company, The Evil Place, and KB Toys
-schedule printouts from The Evil Place
-an application for monthly parking at the train station
-at least 6 credit card applications
-receipts from my end-of-summer shopping sprees
-the boxes from the...(counting) 6 pairs of shoes I have bought since beginning work in the city
And I haven't even cleared off my bed.
One one hand, I should be happy that I only have one job to concentrate on. It's a paying, full time job with somewhat consistent hours that's really close to home. No more sitting in traffic, no more rushing to catch my train, no more rifling through my monster purse for my MetroCard.
On the other hand, I think I might already be bored out of my mind.
So what I should be doing is getting my stuff together and figuring out what I'll be doing with my life when January rolls around. And I don't have a lot of time to figure that out. Black Friday is a little more than 2 weeks away, and my life is over after that. I'll be immersed in toys and dusty Cheerios (it's a toy store thing) till New Year's.
My life would be sooo much easier if I could figure out what to do with it. I've already learned the hard way what happens when I end up in a job that I don't like. And I have the chance to do something that I do like, but I won't be getting paid very much for it. No money means that I'd still be living at home.
And then the whole idea of grad school comes up. I could go ahead and try to get my Master's in Stage Management. But doing that would mean paying off my student loans for the rest of my life. Unless I win the lottery.
Money concerns aside, I think going to grad school might be a good thing for me. It would finally give me the opportunity to go somewhere and really grow up. It's a scary thought, of course. But I think it's what I need to do.
So if I do decide to go to grad school, what do I do for the next 2 years? I don't have enough of anything to put together that could make a decent portfolio, so trying to apply for fall '05 is out. That means I won't be going till 2006. No biggie, since 2004 is practically history. Obviously I'll have to get involved in projects that will help me put a portfolio together. But what am I going to do for money? How am I going to make enough money to move out of my house? I can't live here forever, and eventually my parents are going to let me know that I've worn out my welcome.
RAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Blogging was supposed to help me make sense of some things and figure out what I'm going to do. It didn't help this time around.
Dammit.
My life, which was insanity at 100 miles an hour, has screeched to a dangerous halt.
I figured this out in another one of my half-assed attempts to clean my room. During today's archeological dig I unearthed:
-just about every single parking receipt from my travels to NYC
-some weekly train passes
-pay stubs from the theatrical management company, The Evil Place, and KB Toys
-schedule printouts from The Evil Place
-an application for monthly parking at the train station
-at least 6 credit card applications
-receipts from my end-of-summer shopping sprees
-the boxes from the...(counting) 6 pairs of shoes I have bought since beginning work in the city
And I haven't even cleared off my bed.
One one hand, I should be happy that I only have one job to concentrate on. It's a paying, full time job with somewhat consistent hours that's really close to home. No more sitting in traffic, no more rushing to catch my train, no more rifling through my monster purse for my MetroCard.
On the other hand, I think I might already be bored out of my mind.
So what I should be doing is getting my stuff together and figuring out what I'll be doing with my life when January rolls around. And I don't have a lot of time to figure that out. Black Friday is a little more than 2 weeks away, and my life is over after that. I'll be immersed in toys and dusty Cheerios (it's a toy store thing) till New Year's.
My life would be sooo much easier if I could figure out what to do with it. I've already learned the hard way what happens when I end up in a job that I don't like. And I have the chance to do something that I do like, but I won't be getting paid very much for it. No money means that I'd still be living at home.
And then the whole idea of grad school comes up. I could go ahead and try to get my Master's in Stage Management. But doing that would mean paying off my student loans for the rest of my life. Unless I win the lottery.
Money concerns aside, I think going to grad school might be a good thing for me. It would finally give me the opportunity to go somewhere and really grow up. It's a scary thought, of course. But I think it's what I need to do.
So if I do decide to go to grad school, what do I do for the next 2 years? I don't have enough of anything to put together that could make a decent portfolio, so trying to apply for fall '05 is out. That means I won't be going till 2006. No biggie, since 2004 is practically history. Obviously I'll have to get involved in projects that will help me put a portfolio together. But what am I going to do for money? How am I going to make enough money to move out of my house? I can't live here forever, and eventually my parents are going to let me know that I've worn out my welcome.
RAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Blogging was supposed to help me make sense of some things and figure out what I'm going to do. It didn't help this time around.
Dammit.
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