And in sports news...
So for those of you who don't know, I am a Yankees fan by default. "By default" meaning I live in the tri-state area, I never really liked the Mets, and Derek Jeter has one of the cutest butts on the face of the planet. Oh, and they used to play pretty decent baseball too. We'll see what happens in '06. But I must say that I miss the Yankees of years past who would kick your ass and have fun doing it. And look amazing at the same time. What can I say, I can't resist the pinstripes! I digress.
A part of being a Yankees fan is hating the Boston Red Sox with every single fiber of my being. I dislike the BoSox so much that I took to calling them all "dirty hippies." The whole hippie thing was solely based on Johnny Damon. I mean, ewwwww. The stringy hair, the scruffy beard...it was a disaster. And Pedro Martinez's jheri curl?!? I'm not even going there. I digress again.
Sorry for the digressions, I'm just really excited.
The Yankees just picked up Johnny Damon (provided he passes his physical).
Do you know what this means?
He's getting a makeover!!!!!
Yay!!!!!! Steinbrenner will force Johnny Damon to do something that even the Fab 5 (from Queer Eye) could not do: lose the scruff and cut his damn hair! (Dirty hippie!)
And honestly, I really don't think that Damon is all that attractive, and he still won't be after he makes the transition from dirty BoSox hippie to presentable baseball player in pinstripes. But he makes millions of dollars a year. Shouldn't he at least look like he does?
Moving on.....
OMG, did anyone see Project Runway last night? How uber-mega-whoopty pissed am I that Santino (aka biggest asshole on the face of the planet) did not get voted off? Shame on you Heidi Klum, shame on you!!! Daniel Franco was a sweetheart even if he was a bit obsessed with perfection. Santino is evil. Not just evil...Evil Incarnate. He tried to sell Emmet down the river and make everything his fault! (Ok, ok, Emmet does suck, but he's not Evil) At least Daniel owed up to his own shortcomings and was willing to take the bullet for Chloe and Kara. And his display of tears on the runway was so much more genuine than Andrae's breakdown 2 weeks ago.
...And I'm babbling about Project Runway. It's Andre's fault. I got him hooked on Desperate Housewives, so he got me hooked on Project Runway.
I hope Santa brings me a Tivo for Christmas. I've been good this year...or have I?
::Striking the hand on chin, eyes looking upward pose that waxes reminiscent of everything I've done this year::
Hmm....must take potty break first.
Back.
Now that I think about it, I've actually been pretty good this year. Except for a couple of times when I called out of work because I was hungover. But it was just for my mall job...so it doesn't really count.
Yes, I can truly say that my nice moments have definitely overshadowed my naughty ones this year. Yup, very few naughty deeds. (Just lots of naughty thoughts...hee hee hee. Get it?) All I have to do is keep being good for two more days, and I'll have that Tivo under my tree.
Right?
I mean, Santa reads weblogs too. He has to. If he knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake, then he must know when you've been blogging. And he reads what you're saying.
Santa, I have been 95% good this year. Ok, maybe 80% if we don't count my drunken bouts of debauchery, which were far less this year compared to last. And we'll look past my whole "dumping the boyfriend on the internet" incident, which would warrant bumping me down to 75%. Right then, we've agreed on 80%. Since I have been so good this year, I would like to get a Tivo for Christmas. Thanks a bunch!
Oh yeah, by the way, Santa: you might want to have a chat with your publicist about limiting your live appearances during the holidays. I know that modern technology has now enabled you to do mall visits while the elves coordinate everything at the North Pole and keep you updated on your Blackberry. But the ride-by on the fire truck last week? Not so good for the PR, man. Stick with the Macy's parade and the mall.
On a side note, how tricked out is your Blackberry? And how happy are you that you've got Google Earth now for navigational backup? Are you really going to be rocking Christmas music on your iPod this year? For some odd reason, I could see you listening to Black Eyed Peas. (Cause how cool would it be if you caught Santa dancing to "Let's Get Retarded" in your living room while he's dropping off your presents?)
And once again, the readership is convinced that I am, indeed, insane.
Let's just call it a resurgence of my Christmas spirit. I still believe in Santa Claus. These days, you have to. Otherwise...it's just not fun.
One more thing. Santa, if you're still reading this, I have a few more things on my list, but they're going to other people:
-For Roger Toussaint and all the other people behind the MTA strike: a massive lump of coal. May they also be stricken with frostbite and blistered feet till the end of their days. In other words, please smite them with what everyone in NYC has had to deal with since Tuesday.
-For the people of NYC: Free subway and bus rides for a whole month (when they start running again).
-For the Man who Claims to be President: a brain.
-For our troops in Iraq and all over the world: please keep them safe and let them have a peaceful Christmas Day.
-For everyone who suffered loss at the hands of hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis this year: a warm place to stay and the happiest day possible for Christmas.
And to all my readers, new and old, a blessed and peaceful holiday.
(And Tivos for everyone!)
A part of being a Yankees fan is hating the Boston Red Sox with every single fiber of my being. I dislike the BoSox so much that I took to calling them all "dirty hippies." The whole hippie thing was solely based on Johnny Damon. I mean, ewwwww. The stringy hair, the scruffy beard...it was a disaster. And Pedro Martinez's jheri curl?!? I'm not even going there. I digress again.
Sorry for the digressions, I'm just really excited.
The Yankees just picked up Johnny Damon (provided he passes his physical).
Do you know what this means?
He's getting a makeover!!!!!
Yay!!!!!! Steinbrenner will force Johnny Damon to do something that even the Fab 5 (from Queer Eye) could not do: lose the scruff and cut his damn hair! (Dirty hippie!)
And honestly, I really don't think that Damon is all that attractive, and he still won't be after he makes the transition from dirty BoSox hippie to presentable baseball player in pinstripes. But he makes millions of dollars a year. Shouldn't he at least look like he does?
Moving on.....
OMG, did anyone see Project Runway last night? How uber-mega-whoopty pissed am I that Santino (aka biggest asshole on the face of the planet) did not get voted off? Shame on you Heidi Klum, shame on you!!! Daniel Franco was a sweetheart even if he was a bit obsessed with perfection. Santino is evil. Not just evil...Evil Incarnate. He tried to sell Emmet down the river and make everything his fault! (Ok, ok, Emmet does suck, but he's not Evil) At least Daniel owed up to his own shortcomings and was willing to take the bullet for Chloe and Kara. And his display of tears on the runway was so much more genuine than Andrae's breakdown 2 weeks ago.
...And I'm babbling about Project Runway. It's Andre's fault. I got him hooked on Desperate Housewives, so he got me hooked on Project Runway.
I hope Santa brings me a Tivo for Christmas. I've been good this year...or have I?
::Striking the hand on chin, eyes looking upward pose that waxes reminiscent of everything I've done this year::
Hmm....must take potty break first.
Back.
Now that I think about it, I've actually been pretty good this year. Except for a couple of times when I called out of work because I was hungover. But it was just for my mall job...so it doesn't really count.
Yes, I can truly say that my nice moments have definitely overshadowed my naughty ones this year. Yup, very few naughty deeds. (Just lots of naughty thoughts...hee hee hee. Get it?) All I have to do is keep being good for two more days, and I'll have that Tivo under my tree.
Right?
I mean, Santa reads weblogs too. He has to. If he knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake, then he must know when you've been blogging. And he reads what you're saying.
Santa, I have been 95% good this year. Ok, maybe 80% if we don't count my drunken bouts of debauchery, which were far less this year compared to last. And we'll look past my whole "dumping the boyfriend on the internet" incident, which would warrant bumping me down to 75%. Right then, we've agreed on 80%. Since I have been so good this year, I would like to get a Tivo for Christmas. Thanks a bunch!
Oh yeah, by the way, Santa: you might want to have a chat with your publicist about limiting your live appearances during the holidays. I know that modern technology has now enabled you to do mall visits while the elves coordinate everything at the North Pole and keep you updated on your Blackberry. But the ride-by on the fire truck last week? Not so good for the PR, man. Stick with the Macy's parade and the mall.
On a side note, how tricked out is your Blackberry? And how happy are you that you've got Google Earth now for navigational backup? Are you really going to be rocking Christmas music on your iPod this year? For some odd reason, I could see you listening to Black Eyed Peas. (Cause how cool would it be if you caught Santa dancing to "Let's Get Retarded" in your living room while he's dropping off your presents?)
And once again, the readership is convinced that I am, indeed, insane.
Let's just call it a resurgence of my Christmas spirit. I still believe in Santa Claus. These days, you have to. Otherwise...it's just not fun.
One more thing. Santa, if you're still reading this, I have a few more things on my list, but they're going to other people:
-For Roger Toussaint and all the other people behind the MTA strike: a massive lump of coal. May they also be stricken with frostbite and blistered feet till the end of their days. In other words, please smite them with what everyone in NYC has had to deal with since Tuesday.
-For the people of NYC: Free subway and bus rides for a whole month (when they start running again).
-For the Man who Claims to be President: a brain.
-For our troops in Iraq and all over the world: please keep them safe and let them have a peaceful Christmas Day.
-For everyone who suffered loss at the hands of hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis this year: a warm place to stay and the happiest day possible for Christmas.
And to all my readers, new and old, a blessed and peaceful holiday.
(And Tivos for everyone!)
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