....and the sun don't seem to shine/ and the trees ain't tall/ got the summertime blues/ in the middle of fall...
that's from one of my favorite songs by the Tony Rich Project called "Missin' You." it's one of those ridiculously melodic love songs that just gets stuck in your head...a song you listen to when you've just been dumped and you need a good cry so you put it on and bawl your eyes out. but i haven't been dumped. but i still get teary when i hear it...i guess it kinda reminds me of someone i knew a long time ago and i don't talk to anymore because some weird stuff went down between us. and it seems like i'm a big fan of run-on sentences today. oh well, it's not english class. ha ha....i was just talking about that with my dad a little while ago. i was mentioning to him that someone had asked me why i just don't go ahead and major in english because i'm writing stuff all the time. majoring in english would be my first ring of personal hell. term papers are the bane of my existence and all being an english major is is writing papers. and coming up with nonexistent interpretations of literature that was never meant to be interpreted. so why would i torture myself. beside, what do english majors become? english teachers! that would be my second ring of personal hell; being an english teacher. i could never do it because i know i'd end up being like the teachers that i absolutely hated when i was in school. and i had some horrid teachers in my day, believe me. it wouldn't be fair to put hundreds of innocent children through one of my classes. i'm doing this world a favor by not being an english teacher. now, don't get me wrong; i have nothing against the thousands of educators who go out there every day and do a kick ass job of getting kids to read and write and enjoy literature. mad props to them (btw, i've had some really excellent english teachers too). i've just been warped badly by the bad ones and i know i could never make a career out of warping the minds of 8th graders.
ahhhh....madonna's ray of light album...one of my favorites. i remember when my mom almost sent it back to columbia house because she thought it was a mistake...hee hee. this is some of the best mellowing out music i own.
i have to remember to get my hard drive backed up. my sister's computer crashed last week and my dad's been through hell trying to get it running again. if my computer crashed, i would just die. i've got about 33 hours worth of mp3's on here. that's $650 worth of zip disks. that's scary. so i hope i can hold out till thanksgiving. if i can, then i'm taking the computer home and using my sister's cd burner to back up the whole computer. i'm taking good care of my baby, though. that's what i call my computer, my baby. my computer, my stereo, and my 2 pairs of birkenstocks....all babies of mine. isn't that sad? *sigh* i really need to get out more.
so i went home today and chilled out....talked to my sister about band for like an hour (i told you i need to get out more)....talked to my parents about random stuff....ate dinner...read the paper...finally decided to come back to the dorms. i miss my car. it's a '98 toyota corolla and it's this nice plummy red color. *sniff* i miss my car...but i'll be getting it back soon. i'm pretty sure i did well on my psych exam. but i'm not getting my hopes up. we all remember what happened with my expos paper. and there's no news on the 2nd paper yet....we were supposed to get them back on thursday, but she left them at home. but of course, she doesn't get penalized for that. i think we should all get extra points or something toward our final grade if she doesn't give us our papers back when she says she will. we're not allowed to hand in late papers, and if we do, we get penalized. grrr......but i just want my car back. i don't even mind paying all that gas money, i just wanna be able to go somewhere when i need to go and know that i'm going to make it there and back in one piece. (sorry liz, if you're reading this)
geez, i can't believe that it's october. i've been doing this whole web journal thing for a month already. i quite like it actually, it's very convenient, and i get to say more random stuff than in my real journal. writing in that thing takes so much effort, and for some reason, i feel that i have to make it some type of interesting work. just in case i become famous and die and they decide to publish my journals. but they'd have to get into the box first....it's locked with a combination lock. and once they got to the books, they'd have lots of editing work to do. you think my entries on and after the 11th were, um, colorful? you should see my journals! they're horrendous! but i like to go back and read through them (i'm in the middle of the 4th volume). i started writing that thing in august of 1995, when i was 12 years old and about to go into the 8th grade. so that journal is essentially all about how much my life sucks and how i hate everybody and everything....it still is. it's just the objects of my irritation that change. it's just this big revolving door of characters....really cool. the worst entries have to be the ones where i talk about boys, though. i'm a hopeless romantic, and i've had some serious crushes and drama-filled relationships. the drama just keeps getting more and more interesting. so i just write poetry about all of it and try to move on. oh yeah, i guess i should tell you all where my poetry website is. just go to http://www.angelfire.com/nj3/squidget
i haven't updated the site since the summer, but it's got a nice little chunk of some of the stuff i've written. well, i'm all typed out for the night. tomorrow starts another lovely week here on the Banks (rugters-speak for Rutgers), but i'll make it through somehow. catch y'all on the flip side, kids.

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