I know what boys like...
I promised that I'd tell the story of my adventures at six flags with Andre last week, so here goes...
Once upon a time, not so long ago, Amber and Andre decided to get out in the sunshine and have some fun. What better place to do that than at Six Flags? (ok, the storybook format isn't really going to work) We went out to lunch at some seafood place in LB (which i would later regret, but that comes later) and then hit the road to get into the park after 4.
Ok, so we had 2 main reasons for going to the park later in the afternoon.
1. the day camp crowd would be on their way out
2. back in the day, they used to have reduced admission after 4pm. which is nice, considering regular admission is practically 50 bucks (i'm not lying)
So we get to the park, pay the full 10 bucks to park (another ripoff, but then again, sometimes Six Flags should be called Drop Your Wallet and Bend Over Land), and go to the gate. There is nothing to indicate reduced admission after 4. We ask the grouchy old lady in the booth and our fears are confirmed. But we were in luck! I had a can of coke that was good for a buy one get one free deal...all the way back in the car. We retrieve the magic can and as we're walking back to the gate, the sky begins to darken.
Crap.
We decide to push forward, as the weather reports only predicted a 30% chance of thunderstorms for the evening. We get in the park, get harassed by the poor suckers who try to take your picture when you get inside, and then we made the best decision ever:
We rented a Q-Bot.
Ok, so there's this little beeper device that lets you reserve your ride time and then come back when it's time to ride. We went for it and paid the 15 bucks each on it, figuring that we'd make the most of our time that way in case the heavens decided to open up and flood the park.
Part One of why today's title is what it is:
When we signed up fot the Q-Bot, the guy at the booth was apparently flirting with me. I did not notice this, however, and proceeded to act like a total jackass for the 15 minutes that we were dealing with this dude. I made such comments as:
"So if this beeper thingie flies off a ride and hits someone in the head, do you guys get sued or do I get sued?"
"You'll have to forgive me, I don't get out very much."
"No thanks, we'll pass on the Gold Q-Bot. But I must commend you on your upsale techniques. I've been working in retail a long time and I must say that that was an excellent upsale attempt."
I'm still suprised Andre didn't hit me or something. But then again, the dude in the booth was hitting on me, not him, so I was truly embarassing no one but myself. Very well then, onward!
We go to the first coaster, Batman, and scan the little Q-Bot to reserve our time. The time we got was 2 minutes later. No, not 2 hours, 2 minutes. Hmmmm....could we buzz in early, we thought. We went to the check in machine, and shazam! We were in! Up the exit ramp, waited for the next train, and 2 minutes later we were back at the exit, having ridden the ride.
We hit paydirt. 3 coasters in one hour, and we only waited 10 minutes for Nitro because we wanted to sit in the back.
I must say that it was 15 dollars well spent. Except for one incident, but I'll save that for later.
We took a break from the coasters and rode that ride where they spin you around and they drop the floor so you stick to the wall. This ride has always been a favorite of mine. But not anymore. We get on the ride and I notice that Andre and I are the oldest people on the ride. We start spinning and I suddenly begin to regret having salmon for lunch. While everyone else is enjoying the ride, I'm stuck to the wall trying to keep myself from barfing. According to Andre, I went pale and then I turned green until the ride stopped. When it did, all the kids were saying, "Just start it again! We wanna go again!" If I hadn't been holding down the chunks, I would have told the operator that unless he wanted his balls on a platter he had better open the damn door and let us off. So I'm staggering off the ride, and all I can say is, "The chunks....chunks..." while Andre can't help but laugh at me. And some smart ass 12-year old told me to go drink some Sprite. I wish I could have barfed on his sneakers. But I was a champ and held my vomit like a pro, and I will most likely NEVER RIDE THAT RIDE AGAIN.
We loop back around to the front of the park and get uber excited when we find out that Superman is up and running. We buzz in and get on the ride. Little did I know what I was in for.
Some background on the Superman ride for those unfamiliar: The whole gimmick of the ride is that you're supposed to feel like you're flying like Superman. So the seats on the coaster swing back so that you're looking straight at the ground instead of straight ahead of you. Unfortunately, the coaster is slow, so it's not as much fun as other rides in the park. Anyhoo...
With all of the other coasters we had been on that day, I carefully stowed the Q-Bot between my legs in such a way that it would not fly out of my seat not would it be a hindrance to any of the safety devices or my personal comfort. Such was not the case with Superman. I was fine when we wer seated upright, but when the seats swung back, the Q-Bot ended up firmly (and I do mean firmly) lodged in my crotch. Immediate discomfort ensued. We're headed to the top of the hill, and I tried to shift the Q-Bot so it was against my stomach. Instead, the little rubber band that attached it to my belt clip snapped. We're now flying down the hill, the Q-bot is still lodged in my crotch, and I'm praying that it doesn't fly out of the seat and give someone a concussion. I was in pain for the duration of the ride.
I had been violated by a rollercoaster.
After one more coaster and the Spongebob Squarepants 3-D show, we were all adventured out and ready to leave. We went to return the Q-Bot, and the same dude was there. I told him that I had accidentally broken the rubberband, and I was just about to launch into the whole sordid story when he said, "Well, that's gonna cost you 5 dollars to replace it." Now, I could have been pissed that a freaking rubberband would cost 5 bucks, but at least they weren't charging me $250 (the replacement fee if you destroy it or take it out of the park). I sighed, opened my wallet and held the money out to the guy when he started laughing. He had totally been kidding the whole time. I chuckled and got out of there. I was still kind of mad that I didn't get to tell my Superman story...that would have been fun.
And that was our adventure at Six Flags. Yay!
Ok, on to part Two as to why today's blog is titled as such:
Today I went to the bank down the street to get rid of a buttload of pennies that i had been saving for the past 2 years. just pennies. the water bottle that i had kept them in was kinda cool, but now heavy as sin and completely full. In addition to those factors, the top of it was kinda small, so it was hard to get the damn pennies out. So here I am, shaking and shaking this bottle of pennies, totally looking the part of the damsel in distress, when one of the tellers (a young guy, kinda cute, but not my type at all) comes over and hands me a pen to use to rearrange the pennies and shift them around so they'll come out easier. It helped a bit, but it was just easier to shake the damn bottle and make the biggest racket ever. Finally, all the pennies are out and the machine is counting them and the teller says that he'll be right back. He comes back with this little coin bank that has a huge opening at the bottom so it'll be easier for me to dump my change. Awww. He was totally hitting on me. And I got free stuff out of it! But wait, there's more! The coin counting machine has this cool function that lets you guess how much money you drop, and if you guess within $1.99, you get a prize. Now, it's totally obvious that the prizes we for the kiddies, but I'm a kid at heart. I guessed $5, and I dropped $6.31, so I won! I had a choice of a coin bank (which I already possessed) or a t-shirt. Naturally, I picked the t-shirt. The teller who gave me my cash and t-shirt was also a young guy who didn't seem to mind giving me my prize even if i was a bit old for it.
Hee hee hee....boys are funny sometimes...
Once upon a time, not so long ago, Amber and Andre decided to get out in the sunshine and have some fun. What better place to do that than at Six Flags? (ok, the storybook format isn't really going to work) We went out to lunch at some seafood place in LB (which i would later regret, but that comes later) and then hit the road to get into the park after 4.
Ok, so we had 2 main reasons for going to the park later in the afternoon.
1. the day camp crowd would be on their way out
2. back in the day, they used to have reduced admission after 4pm. which is nice, considering regular admission is practically 50 bucks (i'm not lying)
So we get to the park, pay the full 10 bucks to park (another ripoff, but then again, sometimes Six Flags should be called Drop Your Wallet and Bend Over Land), and go to the gate. There is nothing to indicate reduced admission after 4. We ask the grouchy old lady in the booth and our fears are confirmed. But we were in luck! I had a can of coke that was good for a buy one get one free deal...all the way back in the car. We retrieve the magic can and as we're walking back to the gate, the sky begins to darken.
Crap.
We decide to push forward, as the weather reports only predicted a 30% chance of thunderstorms for the evening. We get in the park, get harassed by the poor suckers who try to take your picture when you get inside, and then we made the best decision ever:
We rented a Q-Bot.
Ok, so there's this little beeper device that lets you reserve your ride time and then come back when it's time to ride. We went for it and paid the 15 bucks each on it, figuring that we'd make the most of our time that way in case the heavens decided to open up and flood the park.
Part One of why today's title is what it is:
When we signed up fot the Q-Bot, the guy at the booth was apparently flirting with me. I did not notice this, however, and proceeded to act like a total jackass for the 15 minutes that we were dealing with this dude. I made such comments as:
"So if this beeper thingie flies off a ride and hits someone in the head, do you guys get sued or do I get sued?"
"You'll have to forgive me, I don't get out very much."
"No thanks, we'll pass on the Gold Q-Bot. But I must commend you on your upsale techniques. I've been working in retail a long time and I must say that that was an excellent upsale attempt."
I'm still suprised Andre didn't hit me or something. But then again, the dude in the booth was hitting on me, not him, so I was truly embarassing no one but myself. Very well then, onward!
We go to the first coaster, Batman, and scan the little Q-Bot to reserve our time. The time we got was 2 minutes later. No, not 2 hours, 2 minutes. Hmmmm....could we buzz in early, we thought. We went to the check in machine, and shazam! We were in! Up the exit ramp, waited for the next train, and 2 minutes later we were back at the exit, having ridden the ride.
We hit paydirt. 3 coasters in one hour, and we only waited 10 minutes for Nitro because we wanted to sit in the back.
I must say that it was 15 dollars well spent. Except for one incident, but I'll save that for later.
We took a break from the coasters and rode that ride where they spin you around and they drop the floor so you stick to the wall. This ride has always been a favorite of mine. But not anymore. We get on the ride and I notice that Andre and I are the oldest people on the ride. We start spinning and I suddenly begin to regret having salmon for lunch. While everyone else is enjoying the ride, I'm stuck to the wall trying to keep myself from barfing. According to Andre, I went pale and then I turned green until the ride stopped. When it did, all the kids were saying, "Just start it again! We wanna go again!" If I hadn't been holding down the chunks, I would have told the operator that unless he wanted his balls on a platter he had better open the damn door and let us off. So I'm staggering off the ride, and all I can say is, "The chunks....chunks..." while Andre can't help but laugh at me. And some smart ass 12-year old told me to go drink some Sprite. I wish I could have barfed on his sneakers. But I was a champ and held my vomit like a pro, and I will most likely NEVER RIDE THAT RIDE AGAIN.
We loop back around to the front of the park and get uber excited when we find out that Superman is up and running. We buzz in and get on the ride. Little did I know what I was in for.
Some background on the Superman ride for those unfamiliar: The whole gimmick of the ride is that you're supposed to feel like you're flying like Superman. So the seats on the coaster swing back so that you're looking straight at the ground instead of straight ahead of you. Unfortunately, the coaster is slow, so it's not as much fun as other rides in the park. Anyhoo...
With all of the other coasters we had been on that day, I carefully stowed the Q-Bot between my legs in such a way that it would not fly out of my seat not would it be a hindrance to any of the safety devices or my personal comfort. Such was not the case with Superman. I was fine when we wer seated upright, but when the seats swung back, the Q-Bot ended up firmly (and I do mean firmly) lodged in my crotch. Immediate discomfort ensued. We're headed to the top of the hill, and I tried to shift the Q-Bot so it was against my stomach. Instead, the little rubber band that attached it to my belt clip snapped. We're now flying down the hill, the Q-bot is still lodged in my crotch, and I'm praying that it doesn't fly out of the seat and give someone a concussion. I was in pain for the duration of the ride.
I had been violated by a rollercoaster.
After one more coaster and the Spongebob Squarepants 3-D show, we were all adventured out and ready to leave. We went to return the Q-Bot, and the same dude was there. I told him that I had accidentally broken the rubberband, and I was just about to launch into the whole sordid story when he said, "Well, that's gonna cost you 5 dollars to replace it." Now, I could have been pissed that a freaking rubberband would cost 5 bucks, but at least they weren't charging me $250 (the replacement fee if you destroy it or take it out of the park). I sighed, opened my wallet and held the money out to the guy when he started laughing. He had totally been kidding the whole time. I chuckled and got out of there. I was still kind of mad that I didn't get to tell my Superman story...that would have been fun.
And that was our adventure at Six Flags. Yay!
Ok, on to part Two as to why today's blog is titled as such:
Today I went to the bank down the street to get rid of a buttload of pennies that i had been saving for the past 2 years. just pennies. the water bottle that i had kept them in was kinda cool, but now heavy as sin and completely full. In addition to those factors, the top of it was kinda small, so it was hard to get the damn pennies out. So here I am, shaking and shaking this bottle of pennies, totally looking the part of the damsel in distress, when one of the tellers (a young guy, kinda cute, but not my type at all) comes over and hands me a pen to use to rearrange the pennies and shift them around so they'll come out easier. It helped a bit, but it was just easier to shake the damn bottle and make the biggest racket ever. Finally, all the pennies are out and the machine is counting them and the teller says that he'll be right back. He comes back with this little coin bank that has a huge opening at the bottom so it'll be easier for me to dump my change. Awww. He was totally hitting on me. And I got free stuff out of it! But wait, there's more! The coin counting machine has this cool function that lets you guess how much money you drop, and if you guess within $1.99, you get a prize. Now, it's totally obvious that the prizes we for the kiddies, but I'm a kid at heart. I guessed $5, and I dropped $6.31, so I won! I had a choice of a coin bank (which I already possessed) or a t-shirt. Naturally, I picked the t-shirt. The teller who gave me my cash and t-shirt was also a young guy who didn't seem to mind giving me my prize even if i was a bit old for it.
Hee hee hee....boys are funny sometimes...
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