My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

I hate the feeling that, at nearly 28 years old, I have accomplished little when I have, in fact, accomplished a lot. I hate the fact that accomplished is indeed spelled correctly, when it looks so wrong. I hate that people think that I am successful when I am so blatantly failing. I hate that I am holding myself to a standard that was perfectly understood and expected 30 years ago, but is nearly unattainable now. I hate the fact that I can't allow myself to be happy with my job and that I am so convinced that I will fail, even thought I am truly doing the best that I can with the few tools that I have been given. I hate that I am never happy about my appearance. I'm too skinny, or I look fat. My hair never looks right. I don't work hard enough at taking care of myself, especially that it's more important now than it ever was before. I hate that I feel so overburdened when, at the end of the day, I have so little to worry about. I hate the fact that I'm great at giv...

So where's my t-shirt, dammit? Here I am at 10:30 pm on Labor Day, fully exhausted from an amazing holiday weekend. I mean, I embarked on a 12 destination bar crawl of Asbury Park last night, then spent this afternoon on the beach. It was a great weekend. As I was enjoying the ocean breeze and sunshine today, I realized something: summer is over, and I'm still here. I survived this summer! While there are still things that I'm working out on my own with regards to the breakup with BBE, I didn't spend the summer crying over it. The new job has been nothing short of exhausting, but I'm learning every day and powering through epic interviewing sessions. (I once did 14 interviews in four hours...holy crap) I bar crawled in Asbury Park, saw a show in Atlantic City, partied in the Village, spent some time in Philadelphia, went to a drum corps show up in North Jersey, helped paint a kitchen down in South Jersey, took a half day field trip to downtown Newark, went outlet sh...

So, you know how I was talking about waiting for the other shoe to drop? Wondering what the next big monkey wrench was going to be? BBE and I broke up just about a week after my last post. ::audience gasps in shock:: Yes, it's true. And to be perfectly honest, I don't feel like saying much more about it. My main focus over these past six weeks has been moving on from the whole situation, and not dwelling on the particulars or rehashing everything for the sake of the blog helps me move on. Ok, you say, so BBE is out of the picture. What about PharmaWin? PharmaWin? More like PharmaBore. Booooooooooring. Digging through old files, finding things that pre-date the moon landing (I'm not even kidding), filing files, pulling files, copying files...files, files, files. Dude, it was so gosh-awful boring that I thought I was going to lose my mind! In the midst of my two week "omgwtf-I just broke up with BBE-I hate my new job-my life is a hot mess-and I don't know how to fix ...

Well, it's 8:10 on a Thursday night, which is an unusually strange time for me to blog. I'm usually catching up on my Hulu queue or watching tv or something on Netflix. Or I'm usually catching up on my ever-expanding list of time-sucking websites. Right now, I'm stalling because I need to make another attempt at cleaning my room. Hence, I blog. For once, I have good news! The temp gig that I've been at since February ends tomorrow. No, really - that's good news. I landed a long term contract job (fancy term for "temp gig") at a huge pharmaceutical company. Provided that it doesn't entirely suck (and I doubt that it would suck), I'll have gone from PharmaFail to PharmaWin in 6 months! (btdubs, the new company will be know as PharmaWin going forward unless it warrants a new code name on its own.) So I'll be doing HR file stuff at PharmaWin. BBE will start a new job on Monday too. We had to take a bit of a break from the apartment hunt, but we...

Ok, I get it. Americans have gotten fatter, and that's why the clothes are bigger. Supply and demand, and all that crap. And in order to clothe all of those ever increasing waistlines and bustlines, you have to make the clothes bigger. Well, stop it. NOW. You know why? You are sizing out tiny people like me who truly want to buy your clothes, but can't. I can't buy clothes because the rest of the world is getting bigger, and I'm not. Actually, if we went by my size tags alone in the past ten years, I've been shrinking. Shrinking! And everyone says, "Oh, it must be so nice to be so skinny! You can wear whatever you want to wear and always look fantastic in it!" Riiiiight. Gee, it's nice to have to pay extra money to have my pants re-hemmed because designers think that the only people who can possibly be wearing a size 0 must be at least 5'7". You know what I just love? Trying on pair after pair after pair of pants and having every. last. one. o...

..I'll hear that BBE and I have landed our apartment. Or maybe we'll hear that we just missed our chance again, after losing the most flipping amazing apartment we had ever seen last weekend. Maybe tomorrow I'll get the full time offer from my temp gig, and the offer will be decent money, and I'll have a permanent job with benefits again after nearly 5 months of being in limbo. Or maybe I'll get a call to reschedule the interview that was canceled last week. (The job I mentioned in my last post did not materialize. Eff you, huge investment bank. Eff you and your stupid big shot VP who played with his Blackberry the whole time. It's not my fault that your more important candidate ended up in Chile instead of Peru, and if it was really all that critical, then you should have just rescheduled.) Or maybe nothing will change on that front. It's just so frustrating to be so close to having things right again, but it's still out of reach. We're really so cl...

...and the more things change, the more they stay the same. We've been blessed with beautiful weather this week as a prelude for the season to come. We'll have rain off and on this week, but no one cares because it's not effing snow. Or a torrential nor'easter that destroyed every umbrella in NYC (I saw the carnage...the streets were littered with them the day after the storm). But enough about boring stuff like weather. As the weather has transitioned, so has the potential for very good things. I could possibly (but most likely not) have a new and better job lined up by this time next week. BBE has defected back to Jersey from the hostile environs of Central Harlem (yay!) and we're starting (or not starting) our apartment hunt today. My satellite radio has crapped out on me and must be shipped away for repair/replacement. The cd player in The Ramenmobile almost ate my Maroon 5 disc, resulting in my nearly having a panic attack in a Wendy's drive-thru because I ...

It has been one year and a week since the day that I was laid off from my job at the neighborhood bookstore. I almost just typed, "the day that my life fell apart," but I know that that is hyperbole in its purest form. While at many times over the past year and one week I truly felt that everything had completely unraveled, I know that such is not the case. Yes, my savings accounts are completely wiped out (one is even in the red, thanks to monthly maintenance charges). I do indeed have about $500 worth of unpaid medical bills, courtesy of my brief bout with pneumonia and a few grueling months of dental work. My credit card debt is so disastrous that there is only one other person on the planet besides myself and the credit card companies that know how far in the hole I am, and I hope to keep it that way. My health insurance coverage expired at midnight. Tomorrow I'm wearing pants to work that have been stapled at the hem and expertly colored over with a Sharpie marker. A...

...yeah, that was a pretty lame title. But today's post relates to one of America's favorite pastimes, ranked up there with IRS audits and root canals: air travel. Where to start, where to start... Ok, let's first rewind about a year and revisit the now famous Flight 1549 aka The Miracle on the Hudson, which I briefly reported on here . Nearly a year later, people can not get off of Captain Sully's jock. Seriously. Dude was Grand Marshall of the Tournament of Roses Parade, and TLC is airing an hour-long documentary tomorrow night about the flight. An hour-long documentary - about a 6 minute flight. Seriously. I can sum it all up in like, 45 seconds: Plane takes off from LaGuardia. Two minutes in, geese hit engines. Loud banging noises commence, then engines fall silent. Capt. Sully (to first officer): I got this, dude. My aircraft. Skiles: No prob, dude. Go for it. Capt. Sully (to control tower): Tower, we have a problem. We need to land this sucker immediately. Tower: ...

Hmmm, it's nearly 2 in the morning on a Monday. Of course I'm writing a blog. :) I just wrapped up another weekend with BBE...burgers, True Blood Season 1, and lots of naps. In other words, it was awesome. So since I was temporarily in good spirits, I figured I'd give my year-end wrap-up post another shot. And what better way to wrap things up than by looking at this year's posts and all they had to reveal. What will we remember most from 2009? What did I manage to preserve here for the Internet Archives? A lot of what we'll all remember about 2009: not a lot of fun. :( Irony is a cruel, cruel, thing. How? Take my quote from the beginning of 2009: I'm sure that 2009 will shape up to be a huge year, just like 2008 was. But for all our sakes, I hope it's a huge year in that "OMG so many awesome things have happened and things are getting better for once" way and not in the "OMG everything is going to hell in a handbasket and it's only going...

...until 2009 is over. And honestly, it won't be a day too soon. ::sigh:: I had fully intended on launching into one of my year-end-wrap-up posts, in which I was going to list all of the shitty stuff that's happened to/for me this year and match it up to a list of awesome stuff that's happened to/for me this year in an attempt to convince myself that 2009 truly was not the worst year ever (even though I'm wholly convinced that it has been, and there's still 2 weeks to go). But then I got a phone call from BBE, and instantly felt better again about everything because we're going to hang out this weekend. So, while I still have time to compile my List Of Reasons Why 2009 Was The Worst Year Ever (Reason #1: I lost my job. Twice . (yes, twice...I'll explain eventually...)), I can start on my other list right now: People/Places/Things that were Awesome in 2009: #1: Best Boyfriend Ever. And that's all that needs to be on the list for now. :)

So when did it get to be the end of October already? Had a great day with BBE today. We went to the Guggenheim to see a Kandinsky exhibit. I learned that I'm not a big fan of Kandinsky. But I got to see a few Picassos and Monets up close, so that was awesome. Next museum on the list is MoMA, which I'm totally stoked about. One of the best parts of the day ('cause any day with BBE is a good day) was walking back through Central Park along the reservoir running track. The view of the west side was spectacular, and it helped me realize that fall isn't all that bad. Yes, I miss my flip flops and wife beaters, but sweaters and cute boots aren't the worst thing ever. And football helps a lot. Another short one today...just felt like jotting something down. Laters!

Y'all thought I forgot about you, huh? I haven't. I have been meaning to hop on here and update you all on where I've been and what I'm doing. But alas, I have been way too tired! So while this post should be much longer than usual in order to accommodate for my absence, I'll have to whip through this with all the bullet points instead. Ready...go! -Summer is pretty much over, but that's ok. I have discovered that a fake pair of Uggs will get me through the winter in lieu of my flip-flops. I still don't like this whole sub-70 weather business (especially since we got cheated out of summer weather this year), but I will persevere and carry on. Besides, watching football all day long on Sundays is a lot more fun when you're curled up on the couch with tea and Best Boyfriend Ever as opposed to sweating through preseason without air conditioning. -Speaking of BBE, all is quite well in that department. More hanging out in the apartment instead of running arou...

Well, this summer has just been flying by, hasn't it? It's already the middle of August, we're well into the dog days of summer, football season is right around the corner, and I have been very busy. Seriously - between a summer class (for my event planning certificate, hopefully by May of next year), a new job (human resources for a pharmaceutical company), getting a jello shot business off the ground (something my sister and I started a year ago), and spending as many weekends as possible with Best Boyfriend Ever (who will be referred to as BBE going forward), Summer '09 has been jam-packed with Adventures in Life. Talk about a complete (or almost complete) 180 from where I was 6 months ago, also known as my Dark and Twisty Period (with homage and apologies to Shonda Rhimes). But in the same way that winter can easily leave us feeling cold and bleak and desperate (I mean, seriously, I was talking about the wind whipping outside my window like I was at Wuthering Height...

Ok, so we're probably all tired of talking about it. This post comes rather late, considering it's been over two weeks since his death, and almost a week after the memorial. But in keeping with my obsession of all things pop culture, it wouldn't be right to not address this here. So you're allowed to roll your eyes and sigh and say, "enough already," but I'm going to say what I need to say so I can move on. Where was I when I heard the news? I was sitting on the couch in the family room with my dad, clutching my cell phone, anxiously waiting for more news. 45 minutes before that moment, I had returned a phone call from my sister. She asked me to check the news to find out if Michael Jackson was really dead. My reaction was, of course, that it was a rumor run rampant and out of control. He wasn't dead. Heart attack maybe, but dead, no. My Google search confirmed my instincts. TMZ was wrong and I was right. He had suffered cardiac arrest, but he was in t...

We have a cat. I've mentioned the cat here and there over the years. He's still here, 12 years old, and fatter than ever. Ah yes, the old Fuzz Bucket. He only gets called by his real name when he's in serious trouble, just like a little kid. Otherwise, he's Fuzz Bucket, Kitty, Stupid Cat, or Dude (as in, "Dude, seriously! You've already had your dinner. Stop bugging me!"). And just like a little kid, he has peed or thrown up on a seemingly infinite number of surfaces and objects, yet, he's still alive and he's still here. He's like the bratty little brother I never wanted. Fuzz Bucket primarily lives in my room, which is actually my sister's old room. None of that matters to the cat: it's his room. Hence, he must have 24 hour access in and out of my room. Failure to provide unlimited access to the room will result in being awoken at 3am by endless pawing and meowing at the door until His Royal Highness has been allowed to enter. Fuzz B...

And yet, I say this while it's currently 57 degrees and raining outside. I'm in my bed, in pants and my beloved Rutgers hoodie, under a comforter, while the cat has just settled in on his side of the bed next to a pile of clean laundry. But being as that we have already celebrated Memorial Day Weekend, and I am no longer a victim of the New Jersey public school system, it is now summer for all intents and purposes. Hooray!! So the seasons are a changin'. My allergies have eased up a bit. The days are longer and the nights are warmer. I already have a tan and I haven't set foot on the Shore (cringe). Bridges are slowly mending, status quos (stati quo? statuses quoi? whatever) have upgraded quite nicely, and the cd's keep spinning in my Ramenmobile. The Ramenmobile that failed inspection a few weeks ago, resulting in me dropping over $400 for new tires, balancing, and alignment (thank god for Visa). But the cd player keeps chugging along! One of the things I have real...

I'm supposed to be doing laundry and/or finishing my book, but I had to jot this down. Up here in Jersey we have had some downright miserable weather. At least, it's miserable to me, as I'm still adjusting to Northeast weather. (I miss the Ft. Lauderdale sun and heat as much as I hated it when I actually lived there. Go figure.) Towards the end of April, we had this gloriously beautiful weekend. Sunshine and temps in the 90's, and just awesome (except for all of the pollen...my allergies are back with a vengeance). And while I thought it was awesome, a lot of people were a bit overwhelmed by the sudden jump in temperature and constant sunshine from sunup to sundown. After 3 glorious days, the temps fell back down, the clouds rolled back in, and the rain poured. And poured. And fell and showered and sprinkled and spat and drizzled and misted. If the clouds managed to clear up, the wind kept the weather chilly. The sun may have shone, but not for long. This is miserable, ...

Just over a month into the project, and I'm on shelf 3 of approximately 15 shelves of CDs. Each "shelf" holds approximately 15 CDs, so that makes roughly...225 discs to get through total. Yesterday I finished up with the B's (Carla Bruni, current First Lady of France - I scored the disc for free from the Neighborhood Bookstore) and started with the C's (a 3 disc Cake marathon, Tevin Campbell in the player now, and Mariah Carey on deck). So far, the project's been pretty fun. If you check out the sidebar on this page, you'll see my list of my favorites, which I'll add to as I progress through the collection. My criteria for making the list is pretty much any CD that I get really excited about hearing, I know almost all the words to, and is a complete listening experience from beginning to end. I already know some of the albums that are going to end up on the list, but I won't add them till they've actually been heard again. The tough part about ...

Here in Jersey we're in the midst of a freak April heat wave that has sent temps into the 90's today. T.S. Eliot actually said it best when remarking that "April is the cruelest month." To that I'd add "especially in New Jersey." April is a big ol' box of meteorologic chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get. In Aprils past we've seen snow and rain and heat and bitter cold. This year we got the heat wave. I welcomed it, especially since we got a tease of beautiful weather last weekend and then utter disgustingness during the week. Yesterday I went shopping with my mom at the outlets down the shore, worked at the Panty Palace for a closing shift, then headed up to Hoboken to hang out with some people. I forgot that I hate Hoboken. Not gonna lie, I wouldn't shed a tear if that town fell into a sinkhole. Ok, ok, I'd be sad for some of the people (since I might actually know people living there), but not the town. The party scen...