My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

rrraaarrrrggghhhhh! ok, so i'm like totally P.O'd with this movie i just saw, "Crazy/Beautiful." i mean, i should have known that it was possibly gonna suck. but it didn't! for the most of the movie, everything was pretty realistic. (BTW, if you haven't seen the movie and plan on seeing it someday, don't read the rest of this blog, cuz i'll probably give away parts of the movie) kirsten dunst is a decent actress and played her alcoholic/suicidal problem teen part really well. and jay hernandez (who is totally, totally, totally *hot*) did equally well as the token young latino working hard to get out of the ghetto. the way the character's paths crossed and the relationship developed were totally believable. they (i felt) accurately showed the conflicts that arose as part of the relationship (ex: carlos' family not approving of him dating a white girl). so here i am, totally wrapped up in this realistic love story, enjoying all of the randomness ...

wow, it's been a long time since i posted a blog...what's been going on with me since the last one? well, a few weeks after my inspiration with the Oscars, I took on the project of being the Stage Manager for one of the musicals on campus. lots of work, and lots of fun! so i'm becoming more attached to the whole theater thing...definite plans on making it a life-long career. i finished up the semester in top form: 3.3 GPA! yay! if i keep up the good work, I'll have a 3.0 cumulative by the end of the fall! now it's summer, and my life is about to get hectic. i have a summer class from Memorial day to the 4th of July. on top of that, I'll be working 2 jobs. I wanna have lots of money and be able to go somewhere for spring break. So i won't be able to go to Chicago this summer, but i'll get there eventually...i need to go back badly. i can't believe that i'm already 2 years into my college career. i mean, these past 2 years have just flown by me! ...

oh my god! all right, here's the sign that's on my door, and the note that I've just put in my instant messenger profile: "At approximately 12:10 (Eastern Standard Time) on March 25, 2002, history was made. Halle Berry *won* the Academy Award for Best Actress. A journey 74 years in the making has come full circle! Look for me in 2009 y'all...I'm gonna do it too! And at 12:26, Denzel Washington won the Oscar for Best Actor! History again...didn't think it would happen so soon, huh?" And it's true...history has been made! Halle is the first Black woman to win the Academy Award for Best Actress! And I mean it when I say I'm gonna do it too...maybe not in 2009, but someday I will. See, three years ago, I realized that I really love to act (even though I've never been in a play or movie), and I made a promise to myself that ten years from that day, I would win an Academy Award for it. I didn't think about the fact that I am a Black w...

ahhh, nothing like green tea at 6:30 in the evening. yeah, yeah, I know, "Why am I drinking green tea in the evening when I know i have a horrible sensitivity to caffeine?" well, this has been a crazy weekend. it's actually been a crazy few weeks, but that's beyond the point right now. anyway, I have to go see a three hour play tonight (provided I can still buy a ticket to get in), and I need to be able to stay awake. my acting teacher is in the play, and if he happens to catch me sleeping, I'm a dead girl. so i got into the poetry slam, but i didn't stand a chance against the other people in it. My poetry is a little different...maybe not slam-worthy. Everyone liked what I did, but I didn't make it past the 1st round. that's ok, though. all of the stuff that's been happening has made for some great poetry, most of which is now on my site. now if i could only find the means to make it look cooler... drama drama drama....that's all i can reall...

yay! i'm back in Jersey, and I've never been happier. all of the drama that i expected to happen didn't happen with my family; it all happened in trying to get to kansas city and back. if one more person tries to use one of those wand-thingie metal detectors on me, they're a dead motherfucker! i got pulled to the side twice on the way home for a "random" security check. in cincinatti, the bitch went completely through all of my stuff. i was not pleased. and the flights were kinda sucky, but that's just because i don't like turbulence very much. correction: i don't like turbulence at all. but i'm back on the ground, i've caught up on my sleep, and i didn't have any classes today. yay! now i'm looking at my room and realizing that i left it in a total mess, and now i really have to get it cleaned if i want to be able to function for the rest of the week. tomorrow is wednesday, which is a good thing. so valentine's day....did it ...

rrraaaaarrrggggghhhhh!!!!!! that's how i'm feeling right now. i'm supposed to be all excited about our trip to Kansas, and i'm nothing but stressed. you see, my uncle is going to be installed as the new minister of a church, and it's a really big deal to everyone. my mom and my aunt (my uncle's wife) see it as a victory against my grandparents, mainly my grandmother. my grandparents expected my uncle to take over their church when my grandpa retires. they built the church from the ground up, and they were hoping to keep it in the family. so this whole installation thingie has just been fodder for my grandmother's endless guilt trips. grrr. the trip is a big deal to me because i'll get to see my baby boy cousins. one just turned three in october, and the other one was born right around 9-11. and i'll get to see all 4 of my other girl cousins, who make me feel old because i remember when two of them were born and they're now 9 and 7 (i think). my o...

ahhh, the sounds of a sleeping andre. he's passed out on my bed and softly snoring away. we've all had a crazy week, between classes and rush week and a Craig David concert on wednesday. ....mmmm...craig david.....yum..... The concert was amazing and I rode the subway for the first time ever! i've realized that i need to go to the city more and get rid of my wide-eyed-suburban-girl look and work on my jaded new yorker look. i love going to the city. too bad it's so expensive and such a pain in the ass to get there....i'd be there all the time if it wasn't. arrgh.....my room is a wreck! all of my clothes smell like frat party! and i'm exhausted. oh yeah! i finally got my ethernet access back! i had to go to comp. services in person in order to get it done, but i'm happily blogging from my own computer again. *gasp* i actually started to go to the gym last week....haven't been back since monday, though. i said it's been a crazy week.... my foo...

and finally, I've returned to the wonderful world of Rutgers and the life that goes along with it. our dorm room still doen't have heat, but since it's fricking 60 degrees outside, it really doesn't matter right now. i'm sitting here typing this blog from my roomate's laptop because my ethernet connection still does not work. I called comp. services twice last week and waited on hold for 20 minutes in the process. i plan on calling again today, but i have to wait until i can sound pleasant. i was just on another bus ride from hell, and i'm kinda grumpy. but in reality, i really have nothing to be grumpy about. for once in my life, i actually enjoy school because of my classes. my acting class is amazing (btw, no more mandatory mentions of that class. i've switched to a more practical notebook journal for this semester), my other theater class is really cool, my anthropology class is absolutely fascinating, and my expos class rocks because i get to spend...

ok, a new year, and some new blogs to go along with it! so i've been gone for a while....no explanations or excuses for that. i've just been lazy. and now i'm sitting around here with nothing to do except talk to an ex-boyfriend online. isn't semester break fabulous? i built my sister's k'nex roller coaster. i'm dismantling it tomorrow because it's too big for my room. i've already made my new year's resolutions, so i can't sit down and do that. there's a lot of stuff that i could do, but like i said, i'm too lazy to do them. but i think i might paint my room next week. and i'm going shopping tomorrow. and i'll probably go to the city with andre before we go back to school. did some more work on my piddly web page....can't even get the links to work correctly. so now it's pretty much all about sitting around and waiting to go back to school.....how sad.....ok, since this is going no where, i'll depart for now. happ...

wow....well, it's been a while, hasn't it? so much crazy stuff happeining, so little energy to write about it all. ok...hmmmm....i did my monologue last week for my acting class. i guess it went pretty well, but i could have done a lot better. what i could have done, i don't really know, but i know it could be better. i wasn't nervous or anything. i just know that as soon as i was walking back to my seat, i was saying "well, that sucked." i've been having trouble really feeling the character and the monologue....my character is a widowed 50 year old with 2 children. i, obviously, am not. but when i thought more about it, i realized that i didn't really have to think about acting 50 years old. i just had to get the essence of the monologue across to the audience. but i didn't even do that very well. christian said that i needed to be louder, and that i was holding stuff back. i guess she's right. when i was making a collage about the monologue a...

ahhh....what a weekend. what a wonderfully amazing weekend. i did absolutely nothing. seriously. but let me back up to friday first. there was this halloween party going on at 10 buffa (rutgers band-speak for a house notorious for excellent parties), and we were definetly going to be there. but, we needed costumes. so we decided that liz and i were going to be hookers and andre was going to be our pimp. got some fishnet stockings, and we were set. andre was dressed in black with liz's sunglasses, liz had a black tank top and leopard print skirt with fishnet stockings, and i had my black suede halter top with denim daisy dukes and fishnets. we looked awesome as hell, and made an awesome entrance. partied our butts off, slept over, and came back to the dorms. we had also been invited to another halloween party last night, but i decided not to go. so liz and andre went to long branch and i stayed in my room. and did absolutely nothing. i mean nothing. i sat and watched tv all day long...

grrrr....can't seem to get my archives to work....damn computers. well, it's really not something that has to get done tonight, like my expos paper. i had all day today to work on it. and i have nothing done. not a single word saved on my lovely little word processor. i did a bunch of other stuff...went to class, read the paper, got a kick-ass e-mail from rachel, started re-organizing my mp3's, had a meeting with my academic advisor, made a schedule for next semester, watched cartoons for 2 hours, ate dinner, went through some ex-boyfriend drama, watched jeopardy and millionaire, went to andre's to deconstruct the party palace, did dishes (and got some serious dishpan hands), brought my stereo back to my room, ate again, checked my e-mail again, and now i'm writing yet another pointless blog. and i have a paper due in 11 hours. but i can't think of what to write. my brain has shut down and refused to function. i'm really getting mad, too. i was supposed to f...

nekkid, nekkid, nekkid! yes, i said nekkid. no, not naked, but n-e-k-k-i-d. so let me explain. i saw this awesome play called "other people" and it was really cool. but there were nekkid guys in it. i didn't think that it would bother me. it didn't really, i was just a bit shocked. but otherwise the play was really cool. i'm hoping that i can do a monologue from that play, cuz the monologues in that show are sooo cool. i realized why i want to act someday. i watch movies and plays and i wonder how i could do it differently or better. just to have a chance to have someone watch me and say, "wow, that was soo freakin cool!" that's why i want to be an actress. i used to say to myself that i would win the academy award for best actress in the year 2009. i still don't know if it will happen, but you never know. i mean, if someone told me 2 years ago that i'd be here at rutgers, i wouldn't have believed them. i would have laughed hysterically. ...

ok, here's a reason why i am one of the most pathetic people on the face of the earth. i have one of the biggest crushes on a pop star. now don't fear dearies, i'm not drooling over some n*sync guy. oh no. my tastes are much more refined. a bit foreign, if you will. so who am i talking about? craig david. he's this up and coming british pop star who released his album here in the US a few months ago. and he's soooooo hot. i mean really hot. i mean, this guy is so gorgeous that i've completely forgotten about lenny kravitz. and i used to be all about lenny. he's practically forty and i wanted to have his babies. but i'm done with him. it's all about craig now. he's hot, he has a sexy accent, he's hot, he can sing, he's hot, he's 20, and did i forget to mention that he's so incredibly amazingly gorgeously hot?!? *sigh* my roomate thinks i'm nutty. i think i might have to agree with her. see, i have this little shrine to all of m...

....and the sun don't seem to shine/ and the trees ain't tall/ got the summertime blues/ in the middle of fall... that's from one of my favorite songs by the Tony Rich Project called "Missin' You." it's one of those ridiculously melodic love songs that just gets stuck in your head...a song you listen to when you've just been dumped and you need a good cry so you put it on and bawl your eyes out. but i haven't been dumped. but i still get teary when i hear it...i guess it kinda reminds me of someone i knew a long time ago and i don't talk to anymore because some weird stuff went down between us. and it seems like i'm a big fan of run-on sentences today. oh well, it's not english class. ha ha....i was just talking about that with my dad a little while ago. i was mentioning to him that someone had asked me why i just don't go ahead and major in english because i'm writing stuff all the time. majoring in english would be my first r...

stuff to say, stuff to say......too much to talk about this week...but i'm doing laundry so i've got tons o time. ok, so like, today in acting class we started off by working on our monologues. luckily mine's a bit short so i didn't have to work on cutting anything. then we had to go and recite a poem in front of the class. now, i did mine on wednesday so i could just go and get it over with. i'm glad i did, because Christian (our teacher) really worked hard on the 2 girls who went today. when i went, i guess i did ok because she didn't have me up there very long. but i had to say my poem like 3 times....i've got too much tension in my shoulders and i'm not speaking from my gut. so when i tried doing that, i locked my knees. and then i started twitching my fingers. so before i know it, i'm speaking from my chest, locking my knees, twitching my fingers, and the whole time i'm telling myself, "speak from you gut! bend your knees! and for the...

so i heard this really bad joke yesterday. ya wanna hear it? ok, here goes. "what's the difference between Afghanistan and Christmas?" "Christmas will be here in December." isn't that horrible? you know what else is horrible? my alarm clock didn't go off this morning. so I woke up at 8:30. 20 minutes after my acting class had started. i think the first twenty words i said this morning were "shit!" yup, that was all i said. and then i was at the mercy of the lovely RU bus system. sat for 10 minutes on college ave while some fat ass bus driver stood in front of the bus eating donuts. just standing there, munching away, acting like people don't have places to be. grrrrrr..... so class went ok, and then i had lunch and now i'm just sitting here talking about my day and talking to some of my boys. i'm always talking to my boys on instant messenger. but they're all boys that i know. i never talk to random guys on the internet.......

dammit....stupid computer strikes again, and a whole bunch of stuff that i had written disappears without you all getting to read it. *sigh* well, it was boring and mundane stuff anyway. so where did i leave off....ok. so i finished my second expos paper last night. added more analysis like she wanted me to, so i had better pass this one. i practically added another page to my paper, so now it's six instead of five. this has been the first time that i've ever easily written a six page paper. i hate writing papers. they are, hands down, the bane of my existence. i mean, yeah, i write all the time. i've been keeping this blog pretty well updated, and i write poetry all the time. but writing papers is different. i'm forced to try and explain what i think some author is trying to say. we analyze literature to death these days. example: last semester inone of my honors classes, i had to write a paper about the "spiritual or quasi-spiritual" quest in the Great Gatsb...

drama drama and more drama....*sigh*. i should be sleeping, but i am too stressed. but i don't know why i'm stressed. so i failed my expos paper....wanted to cry, but couldn't. too pissed to cry. if you only knew how hard i worked on that paper..... but that's not why i'm stressed ( i think). you know what i was thinking about tonight? i was thinking about the stupidest thing. i was thinking about how i never got to go to my prom in high school. isn't that pathetic? here i am, a sophomore in college, and i'm dwelling on why ididn't get to go to my prom. i easily could have gone, surely. but why in the hell would i get all dressed up to go to the prom by myself? yeah, by myself. i didn't have a date, and all of my friends already had dates. so i couldn't go with a group of friends. and with the way my school was, you did not just go to the prom by yourself. so i didn't go. i had no one to ask, and no one asked me. i think that's what my...

mmmmm.....easy mac....and now i'm about to watch star wars since we're doing a star wars show for marching band and i've never seen the original flicks. so my mommy's going to send me money and i'm going to get real food. yay! awww...a new hope. itsn't it cute? well, my buds are telling me to get the hell off the comp. and since i picked the movie, i had better watch it. ta for now, kids, and may the force be with you....hee hee hee.