My Twenty-Something Quasi-Soap

the whirlwind of work, that is. it's literally going to be eat, sleep, drive, work for the weekend. like i said, i'm a glutton for punishment and too nice of a person. blarggghhh....just typing to waste time before andre calls, so i'm going to play snood instead. thus ends another pointless blog. ::curtsy:: ::curtain::

rachel's plane will be here in less than 12 hours...i'm so excited about her coming to visit! we haven't physically seen each other since 1999, and a hell of a lot has changed since then. we're gonna have so much fun!!! but before i pick her up from the airport, i have to: -get up, shower, eat breakfast -wash the sheets on my bed since rachel's staying in my room (long story about the f--ing cat that i don't feel like going into) -visit the toy store and get my paperwork into the computer (again) -clean my car, inside and out. then i get to drive to the airport and pick up rachel. oh....i should be sleeping right now. off to scrounge up some grub before finally hitting the hay. and praying that someone will call me this week because they want me to intern for them. i can't stand cheesecake much longer...

so it's been pouring rain for most of the day, and our toilet is still not fixed. those two things are only related by water and water alone. yeah, so the toilet was possesed, i passed up a chance to exorcise the toilet demon, and now it is simply the Thing that my mom can nag at my dad about endlessly until it gets fixed. actually, it's a good thing that rachel's coming to visit on Monday. otherwise, the toilet might never be fixed at all. according to my dad, the toilet was "fixed" last night. then my sister used it, flushed it, and it started to leak. *sigh* my mother is finally starting to speak to me again, but only for strictly functional things, like what the visit itinerary is, whether or not my clothes are in the washing machine, please don't bring my work shoes into the house anymore...things like that. however, if she ever gets around to asking, i'l be more than happy to let her know that i faxed about 4 resumes out for jobs today. now...

the toilet in my bathroom is possessed. well, i like to keep saying that it's possessed because that sounds so much cooler than launching into another tirade about the retards who built our house. they cut corners every way you could possibly think of, including substituting a part in the toilet in my bathroom. the substitution of this part has essentially forced my parents to take apart the toilet and replace everything. and now i have to go all the way downstairs if i want to pee. but it really is a lot more fun to think that the toilet's just possessed. up until yesterday, the toilet kept making this bubbling noise every 5 to 15 minutes. and then today, it started groaning after i flushed it. it was pretty scary. i could have made light of the situation by grabbing the toilet brush and attempting an exorcism (fling Clorox bleach cleanser on it and scream "the power of christ compels thee! evil spirit, remove thine self from your porcelain lair and begone!")... to...

in the doghouse again.... god, i need to find a job so i can get the hell out of my house and away from my mother, who is increasingly making it clear that i have worn out my welcome. there are so many things that i need to do right now, and i'm in that state of paralysis which occurs when you have so menay things that should be done right away, and you're trying to figure out which way is the best way to multitask it all. meanwhile, my sister's downstairs in the kitchen chatting with my parents about class credits and all of that "oh woe is me, it's so hard to go to an ivy league school" when really she's moving in for the kill because she knows that my parents are pissed at me. she's been doing it all summer. it's getting old. big fucking deal, you go to princeton. that does not make you better than anyone else, despite all of the pampering and what not that you get when you're there. she had just better hope that she gets all that financ...

I promised that I'd tell the story of my adventures at six flags with Andre last week, so here goes... Once upon a time, not so long ago, Amber and Andre decided to get out in the sunshine and have some fun. What better place to do that than at Six Flags? (ok, the storybook format isn't really going to work) We went out to lunch at some seafood place in LB (which i would later regret, but that comes later) and then hit the road to get into the park after 4. Ok, so we had 2 main reasons for going to the park later in the afternoon. 1. the day camp crowd would be on their way out 2. back in the day, they used to have reduced admission after 4pm. which is nice, considering regular admission is practically 50 bucks (i'm not lying) So we get to the park, pay the full 10 bucks to park (another ripoff, but then again, sometimes Six Flags should be called Drop Your Wallet and Bend Over Land), and go to the gate. There is nothing to indicate reduced admission after 4. We ask ...

so i was reading this cool article in the New York Times Magazine about graphic novels, and i realized that if i were to ever commission a graphic novel about my life, i would draw it myself and the medium would be Crayola crayons and construction paper. i'm serious (or seriously messed up, you decide) considering that the craziest and most bizarre things happen to me, as well as the fact that i can be a total blonde at least once a day (i do have blonde roots, y'know...), Crayolas would be a perfect medium. yes....crayolas and construction paper. and i'd use stick figures and lots of action words. the chapters would be numerous and interesting. i could write about all my adventure in college. wouldn't it be great to tell drinking stories with crayons? yeah, so that's just a random thought i was having and i'm killing time before going to work. actually, i'm stalling. but the sooner i go, the sooner i'll get it over with. but not really. i'll ...

so i'm awakened by my cell phone's renditon of "BOB" by Outkast (which is quite hot, might i add...the song i mean) and it's.... the boy!!! who called out of work even though he shouldn't have so we could spend the day together. we got off the phone 20 minutes ago so we could both finish waking up and think about what we're going to do today. now i'm starting to panic. ok, so he wants to come up to my town (he lives an hour away) and pick me up so i can show him around my part of Jersey and all the requisite stuff that comes with it (high school, mall, downtown...and that's about it). but showing him around town isn't going to take very long...there's not much too see. and he's already been to my mall. we could go to the New B, but i'd feel bad about making him drive the hour up to see me only to drive 20 minutes back in the direction of his house so he can drive me 20 back out of the way before making the hour drive hom...

i got the profile thing to work. i'm an idiot. but thanks to anyone who would have been kind enough to help out...i really would have given you extra props and snaps.

talk about putting my foot in my mouth.... the boy called last night. now i feel like a total idiot for saying what i did... i was just really scared and upset and everything, and i shouldn't drink and blog (even if it was only one beer) but we've talked everything out and we're cool and i explained to him how work has turned me into a total nutcase and he's cool. we're going to try and hang out tomorrow, so i'll be keeping my fingers crossed! yay! boys don't suck anymore! to follow at a later date: my adventures at Six Flags with andre and how i was violated by a roller coaster. in addition: i'm going to start transferring my poetry to a new blogger site. my angelfire site's a piece of crap and the HTML is too much work. hence i'll let blogger do all the pretty stuff while i just click and type. the new site is: http://princesspoetry.blogspot.com there's only one poem up, but more will follow, i promise! and one more thing: t...

i just have to keep reminding myself: "It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time." i guess that means that 4 or 5 years from know i'll figure out why i'm having such a shitty summer. well, not super shitty. at least i'm not taking summer classes. but i do work at....(you know what i'm gonna say!) the fucking cheesecake factory! (i'm gonna write a song about that one day, just watch.)

i hate boys. that's all that i feel like saying about that for now. or maybe i'm lying. i can't decide if i'm feeling extra emotional because i've had a Corona (which i shouldn't because it was only one on an empty stomach), or because i saw an episode of Will and Grace that had a sappy romantic ending. either way, i feel really crappy towards men (except for my dad and Andre) and i have my job to thank for it. see, not only has this stupid job ruined my eating patterns (i've lost about 5 pounds since leaving school, and i really shouldn't weigh as little as i do) and my sleeping patterns and forced me to rely on Red Bull in order to act like a civilized human being while on the job, but it ruined... see, this job is making me bitter and evil. it ruined my lovelife. if you could call it that. i mean, i haven't actually seen the guy since a week before graduation, but we kept in touch over the phone and kept promising to see each other...

grrrrrrrrrrrrr...... So i went to the toy store today to talk to the head manager and stuff. i saw karen, the senior mgr. who i talked to the other day, and she said, "don't say anything about management stuff!" i guess i didn't give you all the other part of the story the other day, as i was so excited about possibly leaving cheesecake. ok, so the head manager of the store is a very unhappy and conflicted person. he's getting married in a few weeks, and his fiancee has been nagging him about working somewhere else other than the toy store. originally he said that he was going to leave at the end of last christmas. then he said June. it's july 1st and he's still there. he can't make up his mind as to whether he wants to stay or go. he talks to karen about how the store's going to be hers and she's the boss and all this other stuff. then he'll start talking about all the ideas that he has for christmas and black friday and all that o...

i kvetch, therefore i blog. ok, so i hate working at cheesecake factory. i've hated it since day one. i've kept telling myself that it's eventually going to get better, but after a month it has not. i don't like the people. i don't like the system. i hate the way i get treated there and i hate the way other people are treated there. the hours royally suck. and i mean *royally* suck. i'm not getting paid enough money for the stress that i go under, and this job is sucking the life out of me. even my mother says that it's impossible for me to have any kind of social life with the job that i have, and i agree. so it's obvious that i have to get out of there as soon as possible. but what do i do if i quit? so i obviously have to have something lined up before i go tell everyone at cheesecake to go to hell. the problem is that i have no clue where to go. well...there's one option. i stopped in the toy store today to say hi to everyone and ...

*sigh* welcome to summer...i guess... this past week or so has been, well, interesting and dreadfully boring all at the same time. last weekend i went to austin, texas with my mom and my sister for a family reunion. ahhh...that lovely summer event...the family reunion. now, everyone had been looking forward to this for a long time now. i mean, like since october. i was all excited about meeting all of these family members that i hadn't met before and seeing the ones i see all the time and going to texas because i was only there once as a baby...it was gonna be great! i should have known we were in for trouble when our plane headed out was delayed for 2 1/2 hours. spending hours of the morning that i rarely see in Newark Airport (screw the Liberty part...no one around here says that) is not my ideal beginning to a weekend. i have also decided to never name any of my children Carter or Natalie. i have two toddlers by the same names to thank for that, as i had to hear their...

new feature added! i finally figured out how to add comments to my blog....this means that you can respond to any or all of my pointless ramblings... comment away....

now back to our regularly scheduled programming.... so i've been out of college for almost a month now and it still isn't really hitting me yet. well, it's starting to kick in a bit, i guess. my two best friends from Illinois are engaged (to different people), and it's weird. i mean, i guess it makes sense. the general american way of life progresses in such a way that it's perfectly acceptable to get engaged and married right after college. but still.... granted, rachel and jeff are two of my dearest friends...we were real tight when i lived out there. you know how you you don't see people for a long time and then you see them again and realized how much they've grown? although i keep in touch with them (well, mostly rachel put she's kept me posted on jeff), most of my tangible memories of them are of when we were still in high school. and early in high school, at that. it's just weird to see people my age settling down and getting married.....

i hate growing up. when you get older, you see things in people that you never had the ability to see when you were a kid. you understand the world in different ways. you realize how big and bad this world can really be, and you learn about just how unfair it really is. normally i would be sitting here complaining about my job and how much i need to get my resume done and other mundane crap like that, but i'm going through a temporary change in perspective. a few minutes ago, i learned that a person that i knew was murdered sometime within the past week. well, i can't really say that i knew sarah. i only saw her two times...she was the best friend of one of my shoestring kids. but from the short amount of time that i did spend with her, i was able to see what an amazing person she was. the one word that keeps coming to my head about sarah is warmth. there was just something about her that was instantly likeable. she saw "fiddler on the roof" with a bunch of...

so it's official and crap...around 4 o'clock this afternoon i finally recieved my college degree in theatre arts. i did it I did it. I DID IT!!!!!!!!! i graduated college!!!!! i still can't believe it. it doesn't feel real yet. right after i got my diploma i kept giggling...i actually did it! well, even though it's almost midnight, i'm headed back to the New B for some post-graduation partying. tee hee.....i'm an alum! i should feel grown up, but i don't yet. then again, i did finally get up the courage to order an alcoholic beverage in front of my parents. and i didn't even get carded! life is good right now, so i'm off to go party. toodles! oh! and happy birthday to ratticus finch if you actually read this thing!!! luv ya!

so this is probably the last dorm blog that i'll be doing, unless i am struck by some prolific urge and must write more about leaving Quad 3 and Livingston forever. yesterday i helped andre move out of his apartment, and we were able to do it without any tears. there was one point when it was pretty close...it kinda seemed like there was nothing else i could help out with, and i asked him if there was anything else that he needed me to do, and we just kinda looked at each other for a second or two, knowing that it was the end of an era. before things totally broke down, he said, "yeah, let's find something else for you to do." and we went on like nothing was wrong. i think this whole thing has been so easy because i know i'm going to see andre all throughout the summer and stuff. the end of college isn't goodbye, it's just the end of college. we managed to survive this place and get out of here in four years (just barely!), which is apparently an amazing...